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| Dr. Michael J. Bradley |
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Dear Reader, I was a guest recently on a call-in radio show. On the line, a man was pretty angry with me. He was arguing vociferously for metal detectors and armed "shoot-to-kill" guards at high schools to protect our kids from Columbine-type tragedies. Earlier he had heard me say, in passing, that metal detectors created more problems than they cured in our schools. And boy did he ever disagree: "You go and tell the parents of the dead kids at Columbine that you don't think security measures are important," he challenged. "I think they might have a few choice words for you, Dr. Bradley." Although I disagreed with him, I felt enormous empathy for that caller. As a parent, I too was horrified by the battlefield pictures of Columbine, and continue to feel my stomach tighten every time another school violence story gets reported. But if we all react with our rage, and not with our reason, we stand the chance of putting our kids at more risk, not less. I had to somehow make this point with this caller, since he likely represented a viewpoint of many of the listeners. "You'll find no one more passionate about security measures for our kids than me," I explained. "I couldn't agree more that we need to act to protect our kids. But we need to act in ways that help, not hurt. And before we act we need to look at the data about these incidents. First, in spite of the impression you get from the media, FBI statistics show quite clearly that teens today are half as murderous as they were in the 70's..." The caller interrupted me with that deadly humor that seems so much more effective when it's delivered with a Southern drawl: "Meanin' no disrespect, Dr. Bradley, but you remind me of that Marx brothers movie where the man finds his wife in bed with Chico, who responds to the man's outrage by saying 'Who you gonna believe? Me or your own eyes?'" When we finally stopped laughing, I continued on. "Your eyes aside, the fact remains that schools are actually safer now than they've been in decades. The shootings are like airplane crashes. They hardly ever happen, but when they do they make gut-wrenching headlines. Still, you're safer in the air than in your car. "Second, there is no armed guard or metal detector that can stop a planned assault by suicidal kids armed like Rambo. We can't keep drugs and weapons out of our prisons. How can we expect to do this in our schools? And third, we now are seeing that added security measures at schools are often increasing the levels of violence by creating a prison mentality which fosters anger and acting out impulses. For example there's a new game in metal detector-protected schools which consists of smuggling razor blades in your mouth." "So, Dr. Bradley," the caller asked, "are we supposed to just sit back and let the Columbine's happen? We just had another near miss in New Bedford, Mass. And those maniac kids were out to best the Columbine body count. Luckily, one girl ratted out her friends." "I'm so glad you mentioned New Bedford," I sighed. "That community was not saved by metal detectors or automatic weapons. It was saved by something much more powerful: A relationship between a teenager and an adult that she respected. And the greatest tragedy of the New Bedford incident is that it was not publicized as heavily as Columbine. For if it were, then we as a nation might begin to grasp the critical truth that our children can only be protected by their loving, respect-based connections with responsible adults. And this kind of protection extends to things far beyond the rare school shooting. It runs to all those more common and pervasive threats to our kids like sex, drugs, and suicide. For it is these things that take many thousands more of our kids than bullets ever will. Any security our children will ever have rests with us and in our abilities to foster these relationships. Kids don't respect metal detectors or guns. We need them to respect us." The caller hung up before I could say any more. I wish I knew what he was thinking then...and now. Perhaps you'll let me know what you think. Please log on to my website and take part in my Parenting Forums: join_a_forum.html Be Well, |
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 Editor’s Note: To share your parenting issues, or to get Dr. Bradley's professional advice, please click here to visit Dr. Bradley’s Online Parenting Forum. |