no social life

[worrywart]

My 18 year old son has no social life! He rarely goes out with friends unless I am constantly encouraging him. This has been going on for a long time. he prefers to be in his room watching TV. When he was younger he always had afew friends, but they no longer seem to be a part of his life. He has a 4.0 GPA yet says he hates school. I know he hangs out with some kids during school but do not know who they are.(has never invited them over) He has a parttime job and is in wrestling and martial arts. I have asked him since sophomore year if he is happy or if something is bothering him but he always denies any of that. He rarely wants to talk about anything and his reactions to questions can be very "prickly". We are getting nowhere with the college applications, however he insists he is looking forward to going and even know what he wants to study! I feel as though I know so little about him. Why is he choosing to isolate himself, yet says he is "happy"? When his older brother was in high school he was much more social and involved. He is now 23 and graduating from college. Should I be so worried or does he just enjoy being by himself? He does not drink smoke or do drugs that i know of.....

[Mike Bradley]

Yes, be concerned. At younger ages boys often retreat into their "caves" (rooms) for a year or so, but your son's behavior merits looking into.
Beg, borrow, or bribe him to see a counselor a few times with you, telling him that you are concerned that you make him crazy somehow, but that you'd like more contact with him. Suggest that a counselor might help the family a bit.
Your kid might be depressed and/or socially anxious, which is not a happy way to live life. So please act quickly, and keep us posted.

[worrywart]

Thank you for your response. I will get him to a counselor.