LSD and spying

[rsm]

We found out my 16 year old son was a pot smoker last year through a tip from a friend's daughter. He went to a couple of counseling sessions and we did random drug testing with the threat of an out-patient rehab program if he ever tested positive again. Our relationship was severely damaged and I made some big mistakes (discovered after reading your book!). Things have been getting better...his grades are decent, although he puts forth minimal effort and doesn't respond to bribes to try harder. He has had a part time job for 6 months and is very responsible. I have been trying to treat him with love and respect even though I feel like screaming at him to do homework and chores when he's home...and our relationship has improved drastically. Now my dilemma is that I looked at his text messages on his cell phone and found out he took LSD. And he bought more and is planning on taking it this weekend. Should I :
a) come clean and risk damaging our relationship
b) catch him in the act this weekend
c)involve the police (he will probably want to drive somewhere to do it) and I have a pretty good idea of who is selling it
d)take his car keys away and tell him I don't trust him, but not say I know about the drug usage

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Parent,
I'm so sorry about this incredibly late response. Our website had been "attacked" and I wasn't getting posts.
In the unpleasant chance that you must face this dilemma again, I'd go with option "a", namely come clean. In the book I outline how best to do this (break it into 2 parts: Your apology for spying and then, later, what to do about what you found).
Your kid has established a propensity for doing drugs, and as such you must let him know that his autonomy will be restricted the more he makes such decisions. Push hard on the "We love you too much to be 'cool' with this stuff" line. He will go insane, but he will also know that you are right.
Take care.