Taking Action

[rsm]

Our 16 year old was caught smoking pot last year. Since then we have been doing home drug testing and he has not tested positive. He has not given up his "user" friends and I suspected alcohol use and harder drugs from overhearing phone conversations. Last week I snooped into his text messages and had some fears confirmed that he took acid and was planning on taking it again. I struggled with confronting him and having him be angry with me for invading his privacy, but knew I had to protect him and our family from what could happen. We met with a counselor where he admitted to taking ecstacy a month ago, but denied the LSD use. Now he is focusing on the fact that he was wrongly accused, but the bottom line is that he sees nothing wrong with taking drugs. We are starting an out patient drug treatment program this week. I am struggling with whether or not to tell our extended family and friends about it. I told everyone about the pot use and I don't think it was helpful. Should I be thinking about switching schools as well? What has worked for others out there?

[parent]

I understand your pain. Mine is very deep. Let me tell you about our situation and maybe this will help you.

My husband and I knew our son was smoking pot (back in the spring), but after our "talk" we saw an improvement but didn't know what else to do about it. He was back playing soccer (summer league with the high school team when he broke his nose. No more playing, more time on his hands. That summer is when things escalated. He got into trouble with the law (before that time he never even had a detention in school). As his usage increased so did his criminal record. He refused rehab or testing or anything. We lost all control. Finally, at his own of many pretrials, we were able to get the judge to give him a choice between rehab or detention. He chose rehab but it only lasted 4 days. He tried to run, we brought him home. After that things seemed better. He was determined to stop. Unfortunately, he was back at it. Things became so bad that at one of his pretrials, we asked for some more help. The help came in the form of house arrest. He still managed to get the drugs. We had to call the police the other day (still on house arrest) and found out he is now using heroin. He was arrested for domestic violence but the charges were dropped because he didn't actually threaten us. Fortunately, since he admitted to using heroin, - violation of house arrest - the judge ordered outpatient for him. Not enough in my opinion. Unfortunately, my husband wants our son to try it.

I know we have to get him out of this environment - send him to inpatient. Heroin is highly addictive. Don't let your child get to this point. Now is the time before he takes the next step.

My prayers are with you.......

[cardman]

my daughter has never gotten in any trouble with the schools,she is a senior this year and started a new charter school .They do not have any bus transportation and she went on a field trip a couple of weeks ago and rode with one of the students.He decided to smoke weed on the way to the art museum and my dauther decided to take a couple of hits. well, one of the students that was in the car that did not smoke narked on them and she was called down to the principals office the next day and admitted that she did take a couple of hits. I feel that the principal should of only suspended her for 7 to 10 days but pulled her out for the rest of the school year which is almost 2 months out of school. She was also suppose to leave for spring break with all of her girlfriends and we did not let her go.This is been the hardest thing to do but me and my husband knew we could not reward her with this trip. I just feel this school should not suspend her this long. Any suggestions would be greatfull. my email is renee747@gmail.com

Thankyou

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Parent,
Your kid's quandary is likely the result of the now popular "zero tolerance" policies which have been thrust upon schools by a political climate that sees being tough with kids as a way of "teaching" them to be better. This craziness doesn't work and everyone knows it doesn’t work, but we continue to do it because it panders to the "teach the little bastards a lesson" crowd.
I'd check to see if there is any appeal system in your school, and then perhaps consult with an attorney to see if you have any legal options. Failing that, get your kid into some counseling to keep this temporary setback from affecting her in more powerful ways by contaminating her views of education and authority figures.
Take care.

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Parent,
Your kid's quandary is likely the result of the now popular "zero tolerance" policies which have been thrust upon schools by a political climate that sees being tough with kids as a way of "teaching" them to be better. This craziness doesn't work and everyone knows it doesn’t work, but we continue to do it because it panders to the "teach the little bastards a lesson" crowd.
I'd check to see if there is any appeal system in your school, and then perhaps consult with an attorney to see if you have any legal options. Failing that, get your kid into some counseling to keep this temporary setback from affecting her in more powerful ways by contaminating her views of education and authority figures.
Take care.

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Parent,
Your kid's quandary is likely the result of the now popular "zero tolerance" policies which have been thrust upon schools by a political climate that sees being tough with kids as a way of "teaching" them to be better. This craziness doesn't work and everyone knows it doesn’t work, but we continue to do it because it panders to the "teach the little bastards a lesson" crowd.
I'd check to see if there is any appeal system in your school, and then perhaps consult with an attorney to see if you have any legal options. Failing that, get your kid into some counseling to keep this temporary setback from affecting her in more powerful ways by contaminating her views of education and authority figures.
Take care.