JohnH
11-18-2003, 09:22 AM
Yesterday we had a letter from school about our 12yr old son Andrew. It invites us in to speak about an incident in which Andrew thumped another 12yr old boy on the arm. What it doesn't say is what Andrew told us about this incident.
The boy that got thumped, we'll call him 'Fred' to protect his identity, was with two friends, Andrew was alone. 'Fred' called Andrew a 'Puff' three times and each time Andrew told him to 'shut up' and 'get lost' until the third time he hit 'Fred'. Two days later the head of year called Andrew into his office and said 'Fred' had been into see him because two boys had hit him and it wasn't acceptable behaviour. Andrew found out that another boy had hit 'Fred' but still does not know why, how, when etc.
According to Andrew the Head of Year, wouldn't listen to any explanation of the provocation.
The letter says "Please contact me to arrange a meeting to discuss this in more detail. Until we meet Andrew is grounded from morning breaks and lunchtime breaks."
I'm not sure how to react to this. I'm upset that Andrew hit this lad, I'm annoyed at the lad for provocing him, I'm annoyed at school for tying the length and Andrew's punishment into how soon I go meet this Head of Year. I tried to contact this chap by phone to be told he was not in school today and hadn't left a diary for appointments to be booked into.
I persisted and finally spoke to the headteacher who was able to make an appointment for me to see this Head of Year tomorrow.
It seems so unfair that schools seem to focus so clearly on physical attacks but take no account of the verbal attacks that provoke them.
I'm also puzzled by the delay in Andrew being called into the office and wonder if 'Fred' only went to the teacher when the second incident occured. Andrew assures me that he didn't really hit 'Fred' very hard at all and he didn't seem that bothered at the time. Andrew and 'Fred' has previously been on reasonably friendly terms althought not particularly friends.
Any advice, sage or otherwise, would be welcome.
John.
The boy that got thumped, we'll call him 'Fred' to protect his identity, was with two friends, Andrew was alone. 'Fred' called Andrew a 'Puff' three times and each time Andrew told him to 'shut up' and 'get lost' until the third time he hit 'Fred'. Two days later the head of year called Andrew into his office and said 'Fred' had been into see him because two boys had hit him and it wasn't acceptable behaviour. Andrew found out that another boy had hit 'Fred' but still does not know why, how, when etc.
According to Andrew the Head of Year, wouldn't listen to any explanation of the provocation.
The letter says "Please contact me to arrange a meeting to discuss this in more detail. Until we meet Andrew is grounded from morning breaks and lunchtime breaks."
I'm not sure how to react to this. I'm upset that Andrew hit this lad, I'm annoyed at the lad for provocing him, I'm annoyed at school for tying the length and Andrew's punishment into how soon I go meet this Head of Year. I tried to contact this chap by phone to be told he was not in school today and hadn't left a diary for appointments to be booked into.
I persisted and finally spoke to the headteacher who was able to make an appointment for me to see this Head of Year tomorrow.
It seems so unfair that schools seem to focus so clearly on physical attacks but take no account of the verbal attacks that provoke them.
I'm also puzzled by the delay in Andrew being called into the office and wonder if 'Fred' only went to the teacher when the second incident occured. Andrew assures me that he didn't really hit 'Fred' very hard at all and he didn't seem that bothered at the time. Andrew and 'Fred' has previously been on reasonably friendly terms althought not particularly friends.
Any advice, sage or otherwise, would be welcome.
John.