Can't Cope!
02-21-2008, 07:47 PM
I have a 13 yr old daughter and she is unbearable or is it me?
She won't listen to anything that she is asked to do. Such as respecting other family members. She won't keep her room clean, complains over having to do chores (even though she has been doing them since about 6 years of age). She treats me (mum) like a door mat. And couldn't careless that I'm 7 mths pregnant. She won't put things away that she uses such as sunscreen, hair brushes, pens, scissors, sticky tape etc. I have to hunt for them every day and tell her to put them back when finished using them. But when she wants them & can't find them and starts to whine about them not being put away. She lies alot too. (She's a really bad liar because she can't stick to the same story.) She is very rude and gives major attitude. She yells at her 3 yr old sister. Which in turn is teaching 3 yr old to be nasty. She constantly whines & complains about EVERTHING!!! If she doesn't get what she wants it's an all out war. She has a stereo, mp3, tv in her room. She has really nice clothes to wear, make up etc. and it's still not good enough. She doesn't get everything she wants and she isn't spoilt. She is really fussy in what she eats in the way of tea. (her meal consists of mash potato or chips, carrots, corn and meat) But still complains over that, she doesn't leave me many options.
When talking to her it's like talking to a brick wall. She has to be CONSTANTLY told what to do and when to do it and I'm so tired of it! My 15 yr old son pulls his weight around the house and well my 3 yr old even loves to help with dishes. I don't ask much of them in the way of chores. All they have to do is take turns in drying dishes, feeding chooks & cats and keeping their rooms clean and getting clothes off the line. They get an allowance each week aswell.
She says she is treated different from the other 2 kids but she put herself in that position as she makes it SO hard for me and others in house because of her constant complaining. She also says that we hate her because she gets in trouble all the time. What do I do?!?
When she wakes up in morning I think to myself, what is she going to whine about now? What is not good enough for her?
She told me off for a certain item of clothing not being washed or ironed. I told her that i'm not going to pick up her dirty clothes and put them in the wash, it's up to her to do that. And if it's not ironed then she is to iron it or where something else.
She nit picks and punches her bigger brother and when he retalliates she comes to me and tells me that he has hit her. I use to only believe her and tell him off but I now get both sides and realise that 90% of the time she starts the trouble.
I do yell at her alot but she makes me SOOOO angry. I start out talking and i ask her why she does all the above and her reply is "I DON"T KNOW". I've even asked her to tell me how to deal with her and make her see that what she does is wrong and she can't keep going with it. Once again I get "I DON'T KNOW". I've tried taking the nice mother approach and she took GREAT advantage of that. I tried taking things away, punishing, it's not working. What do I do? Just not care and let her go and do whatever, when ever?
She wants to go to friends houses but I stopped that after giving her hundreds of warning about the moods she comes home in.
Am I too hard on her or am I the fussy picky one?
Can anyone give me some advice on how to deal with her because I am at the stage where I am picturing myself of physically hurting her.
from
can't cope!
She won't listen to anything that she is asked to do. Such as respecting other family members. She won't keep her room clean, complains over having to do chores (even though she has been doing them since about 6 years of age). She treats me (mum) like a door mat. And couldn't careless that I'm 7 mths pregnant. She won't put things away that she uses such as sunscreen, hair brushes, pens, scissors, sticky tape etc. I have to hunt for them every day and tell her to put them back when finished using them. But when she wants them & can't find them and starts to whine about them not being put away. She lies alot too. (She's a really bad liar because she can't stick to the same story.) She is very rude and gives major attitude. She yells at her 3 yr old sister. Which in turn is teaching 3 yr old to be nasty. She constantly whines & complains about EVERTHING!!! If she doesn't get what she wants it's an all out war. She has a stereo, mp3, tv in her room. She has really nice clothes to wear, make up etc. and it's still not good enough. She doesn't get everything she wants and she isn't spoilt. She is really fussy in what she eats in the way of tea. (her meal consists of mash potato or chips, carrots, corn and meat) But still complains over that, she doesn't leave me many options.
When talking to her it's like talking to a brick wall. She has to be CONSTANTLY told what to do and when to do it and I'm so tired of it! My 15 yr old son pulls his weight around the house and well my 3 yr old even loves to help with dishes. I don't ask much of them in the way of chores. All they have to do is take turns in drying dishes, feeding chooks & cats and keeping their rooms clean and getting clothes off the line. They get an allowance each week aswell.
She says she is treated different from the other 2 kids but she put herself in that position as she makes it SO hard for me and others in house because of her constant complaining. She also says that we hate her because she gets in trouble all the time. What do I do?!?
When she wakes up in morning I think to myself, what is she going to whine about now? What is not good enough for her?
She told me off for a certain item of clothing not being washed or ironed. I told her that i'm not going to pick up her dirty clothes and put them in the wash, it's up to her to do that. And if it's not ironed then she is to iron it or where something else.
She nit picks and punches her bigger brother and when he retalliates she comes to me and tells me that he has hit her. I use to only believe her and tell him off but I now get both sides and realise that 90% of the time she starts the trouble.
I do yell at her alot but she makes me SOOOO angry. I start out talking and i ask her why she does all the above and her reply is "I DON"T KNOW". I've even asked her to tell me how to deal with her and make her see that what she does is wrong and she can't keep going with it. Once again I get "I DON'T KNOW". I've tried taking the nice mother approach and she took GREAT advantage of that. I tried taking things away, punishing, it's not working. What do I do? Just not care and let her go and do whatever, when ever?
She wants to go to friends houses but I stopped that after giving her hundreds of warning about the moods she comes home in.
Am I too hard on her or am I the fussy picky one?
Can anyone give me some advice on how to deal with her because I am at the stage where I am picturing myself of physically hurting her.
from
can't cope!