Matterup
04-04-2008, 07:54 AM
I came into my stepsons life almost 8yrs ago. Ive known his mom about 10. I came into things knowing that he wasnt going to be just some regular kid he is bipolar, adhd, a few other things. He also has a sister whos 18 months younger whos autistic. However none of these issues were "proven" till a few years ago. My stepson has always "defied" rules and standards. For instance he got asked to no longer come to head start when he was a kid cause he would sit backwards in his chair and caused lots of other issues, he was also suspended 3 times alone last year in high school for his "behavior".
Hes been to a mental hospital twice for a couple weeks each time (in 2004 and 2007). He goes to counseling every two weeks (all medicaid will pay). Hes been on sooo many meds I didnt know they made that many, let alone the combos of meds at one point he was on like 8 at one time. Currently hes on like 3. He gets his med levels checked every 6 months. Everyone keeps a close eye on him now. Hes been doing somewhat better this school year. They have him on special plans in school (called a IEP). He leaves his classes like 5 minutes early to avoid kids in the hallways and other things cause of his problems he has with them.
He has only like 2 friends and to you and I they arnt even friends. Hes has HUGE wars and fights with other kids in school and when other kids even look at him wrong my stepson goes off. Hes had his butt kicked a couple times for bad mouthing people .. Now theres ALOT of problems here I need addressed and I just dont think anyone here in our area seems to really get it.
When he does something wrong and discipline is needed he will not respond to it he turns himself into a victim, he will just move on to something else and thats it.
Some examples... him STARTING fights and things at school, if you take away his tv and things he will just do something else, basically everything he owns isnt important enough to him unless you take ALL of it away. However then you put yourself into a issues by putting his sister into the problems. Then you have him taking things out on her and then them two fight. We have tried positive reinforcement, earning things back, talking about whats wrong and right, he doesnt respond. The counselors keep saying just got to keep doing it. Its not working at all.
Matter of fact hes taking the upper hand now and is doing things on his own terms. So to break that for instance him not doing his chores. I started something (which also includes waking up for school and things) is ice. He wont do his stuff and/or get up so I go get ice from the freezer and I dump it on him in bed. He gets up real quick. He gets really mad but I tell him to avoid that in the future he can do his stuff and things like hes suppose to and it wont happen again. So far its happened twice. My wife gets upset when I do that and thinks Im abusing him when I do that. However I disagree im not hitting him nor beating him im enforcing something he has choose to IGNORE. Its amazing how well using it works to. So am I wrong for that?
Things to rules out - He has no girlfriend matter of fact when he even sees girls on tv hes looks away and wants nothing to do with them, next hes not on any other drugs like weed etc.. for a while the school thought his issues was drugs but after tests that was ruled out. We have a normal apartment. We dont smoke or drink. Im just going nuts here with his stalking ways and attitude and other things Im scared hes going to be one of those people you see on tv whos going to shoot people or be some crazy person. I just dont know what to do.
Hes been to a mental hospital twice for a couple weeks each time (in 2004 and 2007). He goes to counseling every two weeks (all medicaid will pay). Hes been on sooo many meds I didnt know they made that many, let alone the combos of meds at one point he was on like 8 at one time. Currently hes on like 3. He gets his med levels checked every 6 months. Everyone keeps a close eye on him now. Hes been doing somewhat better this school year. They have him on special plans in school (called a IEP). He leaves his classes like 5 minutes early to avoid kids in the hallways and other things cause of his problems he has with them.
He has only like 2 friends and to you and I they arnt even friends. Hes has HUGE wars and fights with other kids in school and when other kids even look at him wrong my stepson goes off. Hes had his butt kicked a couple times for bad mouthing people .. Now theres ALOT of problems here I need addressed and I just dont think anyone here in our area seems to really get it.
When he does something wrong and discipline is needed he will not respond to it he turns himself into a victim, he will just move on to something else and thats it.
Some examples... him STARTING fights and things at school, if you take away his tv and things he will just do something else, basically everything he owns isnt important enough to him unless you take ALL of it away. However then you put yourself into a issues by putting his sister into the problems. Then you have him taking things out on her and then them two fight. We have tried positive reinforcement, earning things back, talking about whats wrong and right, he doesnt respond. The counselors keep saying just got to keep doing it. Its not working at all.
Matter of fact hes taking the upper hand now and is doing things on his own terms. So to break that for instance him not doing his chores. I started something (which also includes waking up for school and things) is ice. He wont do his stuff and/or get up so I go get ice from the freezer and I dump it on him in bed. He gets up real quick. He gets really mad but I tell him to avoid that in the future he can do his stuff and things like hes suppose to and it wont happen again. So far its happened twice. My wife gets upset when I do that and thinks Im abusing him when I do that. However I disagree im not hitting him nor beating him im enforcing something he has choose to IGNORE. Its amazing how well using it works to. So am I wrong for that?
Things to rules out - He has no girlfriend matter of fact when he even sees girls on tv hes looks away and wants nothing to do with them, next hes not on any other drugs like weed etc.. for a while the school thought his issues was drugs but after tests that was ruled out. We have a normal apartment. We dont smoke or drink. Im just going nuts here with his stalking ways and attitude and other things Im scared hes going to be one of those people you see on tv whos going to shoot people or be some crazy person. I just dont know what to do.