kpmo
04-14-2008, 11:08 AM
I am in a quandary Dr. Bradley.
I am a single mom of one boy. My 16 1/2-year-old son has been a joy to me all his life. He drives and is responsible with that, so far. I had some trouble with weekend curfew for a while and have fixed that problem. He comes in on time now and gets rewarded with additional time, sometimes.
However, recently he has taken a major interest in a girl at his school. This girl was just a friend at first but my son is a major flirt. He knew that this girl had a boyfriend at the school and I believe she and my son conspire together to make him jealous. I think my son has the notion that she will leave this guy for him and he is trying his hardest to make it happen. This girl is a cheerleader and is very popular. He has been told (not by me) that she is out of his league which I am sure makes him pursue her even more. My son and this girl text/talk on their cell phones all the time. I have found texts from her during school asking him to meet her between classes. I have asked my son if this relationship is more than just friends and he says that they have kissed and/or made out some. ??? I posed the question, but she has a boyfriend! My son's response was, but he treats her badly.
My son makes himself available to this girl 24/7. He will text her and say that she can call him if she needs to talk and then he will spend hours listening to her/ consoling her. She sends him texts saying that she loves him and cannot wait to lie next to him. And he is there for her, of course, saying same. He leaves his cell on day and night just in case she needs him and with the hopes that she will leave the other guy. This has been going on for over 2 weeks now. He will walk away from me if we are talking and his cell rings. He will talk/text past midnight if he could. I have taken the phone overnight and he just is beside himself. He wants so much to be there for this girl to have a chance with her. I have been told to take the phone but I cannot make sense of what that would accomplish. In my eyes, it would just make him want to be with her even more.
I have called the mother of the girl. Yes, I did. They did not know that this was going on and they thought my son was just a friend. They took her cell for one day and told her that she could not play around with two boys like this. The texting/calling have dropped some and I saw that she told my son that this whole thing is not fair to my son and her boyfriend. My son however still will text her to see if she needs to talk. He tells me that they are still friends and he is moving on, but they text more often now but not late past 10 p.m. She says that she is confused and tells my son stories about her and her boyfriend. How he treats her, etc... She says she is confused and her parents are watching her.
They have not even gone out on a date yet!!
We have fought over this, and right now, I do not know if I am fighting because I do not like what is going on with this girl or if I just do not like him talking so late and often. My son has started texting another girl (just a friend who he has known for awhile) and has said to me that this is helping him end it with the other. I read his texts and he just asks the other girl what is going on and so forth. Right now, because I have bugged him so much about the girl and spoke my mind about it, he will not be honest with me about her. He will say he is texting the friend and will be texting the girl.
Dr. Bradley, what should I do and/or am I making a mountain out of a molehill. I will appreciate any advice you give to me. This is all new to me!!
I am a single mom of one boy. My 16 1/2-year-old son has been a joy to me all his life. He drives and is responsible with that, so far. I had some trouble with weekend curfew for a while and have fixed that problem. He comes in on time now and gets rewarded with additional time, sometimes.
However, recently he has taken a major interest in a girl at his school. This girl was just a friend at first but my son is a major flirt. He knew that this girl had a boyfriend at the school and I believe she and my son conspire together to make him jealous. I think my son has the notion that she will leave this guy for him and he is trying his hardest to make it happen. This girl is a cheerleader and is very popular. He has been told (not by me) that she is out of his league which I am sure makes him pursue her even more. My son and this girl text/talk on their cell phones all the time. I have found texts from her during school asking him to meet her between classes. I have asked my son if this relationship is more than just friends and he says that they have kissed and/or made out some. ??? I posed the question, but she has a boyfriend! My son's response was, but he treats her badly.
My son makes himself available to this girl 24/7. He will text her and say that she can call him if she needs to talk and then he will spend hours listening to her/ consoling her. She sends him texts saying that she loves him and cannot wait to lie next to him. And he is there for her, of course, saying same. He leaves his cell on day and night just in case she needs him and with the hopes that she will leave the other guy. This has been going on for over 2 weeks now. He will walk away from me if we are talking and his cell rings. He will talk/text past midnight if he could. I have taken the phone overnight and he just is beside himself. He wants so much to be there for this girl to have a chance with her. I have been told to take the phone but I cannot make sense of what that would accomplish. In my eyes, it would just make him want to be with her even more.
I have called the mother of the girl. Yes, I did. They did not know that this was going on and they thought my son was just a friend. They took her cell for one day and told her that she could not play around with two boys like this. The texting/calling have dropped some and I saw that she told my son that this whole thing is not fair to my son and her boyfriend. My son however still will text her to see if she needs to talk. He tells me that they are still friends and he is moving on, but they text more often now but not late past 10 p.m. She says that she is confused and tells my son stories about her and her boyfriend. How he treats her, etc... She says she is confused and her parents are watching her.
They have not even gone out on a date yet!!
We have fought over this, and right now, I do not know if I am fighting because I do not like what is going on with this girl or if I just do not like him talking so late and often. My son has started texting another girl (just a friend who he has known for awhile) and has said to me that this is helping him end it with the other. I read his texts and he just asks the other girl what is going on and so forth. Right now, because I have bugged him so much about the girl and spoke my mind about it, he will not be honest with me about her. He will say he is texting the friend and will be texting the girl.
Dr. Bradley, what should I do and/or am I making a mountain out of a molehill. I will appreciate any advice you give to me. This is all new to me!!