PDA

View Full Version : sober and depressed


parent
04-29-2008, 03:26 PM
Dear Dr. Bradley -

My son, 16, has been sober for almost 3 months now. His choice of drugs were everything but crack and meth. He's come along way and we're very proud of him. He's currently in AA and attends outpatient treatment.

Today, however, he revealed to me that he's depressed when I told him he couldn't go out if he cancels tutoring again with his tutor (he's way behind in math due to his usage). He canceled anyway and broke down saying he had to get out of house or he'd kill himself. I don't want any confrontations. He actually seemed fine - was talkative and in a good mood until I told him he couldn't go out. I'm bad at this I guess (at least with him). I don't know anymore how to handle this. The treatment center stresses that I have to follow through. He knows I'm unsure what to do so he takes advantage of it. Maybe the tutoring thing just isn't worth it and I should just let him make his own decision and if he fails, he fails. This isn't just about tutoring it's about everything. I'm concerned about his depression and how fragile he is. I believed him when he said he's depressed. He tells me, however, that he has to be sober for at least 6 months to see if his depression is from the side effects of the drugs or if it is an underlying issue. My son also told me that he shared with his sponsor (whose 18) that he's fighting depression.

Mike Bradley
04-30-2008, 02:27 PM
Dear Parent,
You are correct in focusing upon his possible depression as the critical issue here. I am puzzled about the "wait-6-months-before-deciding-about-depression" advice. Most drug abuse experts agree that, left untreated, depression greatly raises the odds of relapse and of possible suicidal thinking, which may be also going on here. Whether or not that depression is a function of withdrawl is beside the immediate point. Depression is not a disorder to try and fight alone.
I'd get him to a psychiatrist ASAP for an evaluation to see if he's just manipulating you or if he is indeed at risk. But the odds are that depression was a factor in his initial addiction, and that he needs treatment immediately.
Let us know how you make out with this.