She's almost 18

[mackadi]

Our 17 year old daughter turns 18 in one month. She is a precious quiet girl who we adopted at 2 mo. and love dearly. She's been a great child but the teenage years have been hard. She has run away twice--last year 4 days and in Feb. 8 days--was sent to alternative school for performing oral sex on a boy during school. She has sneaked out window, met boys, taken car without permission, had sex with different guys. We've done the usual punishments and not sure what to do at this point. We have parented with lots of control and she wants more freedom & to be treated like an adult. For now she has agreed to an 11 pm curfew during school nights & to spend night out on weekends. She wants to be able to spend night out during the week--we're talking about this. I read your book (wish I'd had it years earlier!) and am trying to talk more, negotiate, etc. & my husband isn't exactly on the same page. She should graduate in May and will probably move out (although we'd like her to stay through the summer). Any thoughts you might have or do you take phone appointments? (we live in FL) Thank you!

[mackadi]

This is an update--so much has happened since April. Found out our daughter is pregnant--due Jan. 13. She is planning to keep the baby and has moved back home with us. Things for the most part are pretty peaceful. She has a part time job and trying to get high school diploma at community college. She is in contact with the father but not planning to marry him. The hardest thing is coping with the friends she hangs out with (who smoke, drink & have sex) and knowing what boundaries to set. These friends aren't allowed in our home at the present but she continues to go out with them. She says she isn't doing any of those things right now to protect the baby & I believe her but I'm afraid when baby comes she will go back to that lifestyle. We've told her we won't be the parents of this child--she will but we will be the grandparents. Any thoughts of how to deal with this situation? :confused:

[mackadi]

Our daughter turned 18 on May 2nd and her baby is due in Jan. She has been living at home for the most part but leaves for days at a time. The last time we changed the locks and when she decided she wanted to come home we had a good talk and she agreed to communicate with us. After a few weeks we gave her a key, things have been going good for the most part. She's been attending community college to get her high school diploma, going to her doctor's appts., had a part time job but quit that. Then last Sun. pm she called and said she'd be home later but hasn't come home or called since then. This is the 3rd day and we've called her cell phone and left messages and talked to her friends who have talked with her so we know she is alive. We don't know why she does this--there was no argument or anything we can think of. SHe was supposed to see a counselor (that she agreed to) on Monday but, of course, didn't. We are thinking of taking her key away when she comes home and trying to get her to talk about what's upsetting her or why she does this. It is very painful emotionally. Please give any advice of how to handle this situation, boundaries to set for her to live at home, etc. Thanks so much!