13 year old girl inappropriate texts

[WorriedMom3]

My 13 year old has just been caught sending pictures of herself from her cell phone in her underwear to a 13 year old boy she has some interest in. These pics ended up being found on the boys computer by his mom. She was outraged and called my daughter on my daughter's cell phone while she was at camp with school and accused her of sending these pictures. Immediately my daughter denied all charges but called me (her mother) to tell me that this crazy lady had repeatedly called her and was really rude. My daughter told her in no uncertain terms to stop calling her. I eventually called the irate parent of the boy and she described the pics to me. we are now in a place where my daughterhas admitted all, is completely ashamed and does not want to talk about this any more. She knows that she has done a "bad thing" and has apologised for it to the boy and to me. She said she knew it was wrong and regretted sending the pics but did not know how to put it right after she had done it. We (her parents) think that she has already learnt her lesson but feel that there must be some consequence to this event apart from her feeling badly. Do we take away the cell phone/computer for x amount of time and limit exposure to certain "friends"......................we have time to think as she is away at camp currently for a few days. Any thoughts? She wants to call the boy's mother to apologise......:(
Thanks

[parent]

Dear Worried Mom,

This very thing happened at my son's school a year or so ago, except the photos were a bit more revealing of one of the female students. I don't recall the details, but I know that some kids had some very serious charges against them. I believe - felonies with the possibility of some of them being labeled sex offenders - on their record. I think common sense prevailed and the courts dealt with it appropriately, but since then the schools jumped in a decided to educate the kids about how this behavior could have some very stiff consequences.

I think the photo and the embarrassment of her was punishment enough, don't
you?

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Parents,
If your kid already "gets it" (about how dumb her decision was) I think it's best to ask her what she learned, and then put a consequence in place for a possible repeat occurrence ("Honey, I'm happy to hear that you'll never do something like this again. But if you do, can we agree that shows us that you are not yet ready for the responsibility that comes with having a phone, and we'll retire it for a few months. I'm sure by then you'll be ready to use it safely.") This puts the power of choice and consequences into her hands, something that teaches much more than any punishment.

[jackiezee]

My 14 y.o. stepdaughter was caught emailing nearly nude (wet t-shirt) photos of herself to her now-ex boyfriend over the summer.

In addition to the embarrassment of those photos being discovered by her step dad, we thought we got the message through to her all of the reasons not to do this, and that the consequences "next time" (this time) will be severe.

Well, I just found three more photos she emailed to her NEW boyfriend last Monday. Bra and panties, one in the shower wet.

Now what?

She is highly intelligent, absolutely gorgeous (and knows it), and has been playing the sex card VERY, VERY hard since hitting puberty. She can't fathom the idea of not having a boyfriend, and so does everything she can to hang onto whichever one she has at the moment, including sex and oral sex at the slightest opportunity (we thought we eliminated those, but it seems not). :confused:

By the way, the four of us parents are completely united on the kid front, and are cooperating between households, but we're stumped. Thank you for help!

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Jackizee,
Your girl needs help ASAP. That pattern of behavior is very dangerous and might suggest the presence of depression or bipolar disorder. Get her to see someone immediately (a female helper if possible) to evaluate her. Also get her to her physician to be tested for STD's. Twenty-five to thirty percent of female American teens currently have active STD's.
Please move quickly and keep us posted.

[jackiezee]

Dr. Bradley,

Was your last note directed to "Parent" or "Jackiezee"?

[Mike Bradley]

That was for you. Please move quickly.
Take care