CrazyinVA
06-09-2004, 08:40 PM
My youngest daughter, 16, is bipolar. She is currently stabilized on meds, for the most part, and does see a therapist on a regular basis. She became sexually active at age 14, and I obtained birth control for her. We have a very close relationship, and she is very good at talking to me about sex. She understands that just because I helped her get birth control, does NOT mean I condone her having sex.. we've had many talks about it. I've made it clear that I think she is too young to have sex, we've talked about how confusing it can be, even for adults, and how overpowering the feelings can be. I've stressed to her that the best way to avoid temptation is to not put yourself in a situation where you'll be tempted. This is all very well and good, of course, but teenage hormones are still there aren't they?
She came to me tonight, crying,c onfessed that she's already had sex with 5 boys, that she feels like a slut, and that she doesn't feel like she can stop having sex. I understand that "hypersexuality" is a trait of bipolar adolescents, and this really worries me. I especially worry because she admits she does NOT use a condom, and even though she's on the patch, her bipolar meds make that less effective. I've lectured her about that until I'm blue in the face, it does no good. There are many other issues here, including a verbally abusive alcoholic father who she rarely sees (we were divorced when she was 3), and a mentally ill (likely Bipolar as well, possibily BPD also), chronically ill 20 year old sister (Crohn's Disease) who we recently discovered was abusing pain pills (a subject for another post really!) I"m a single parent. Our family's stress level is busting at the seams, to be sure. I asked if she wanted me to move up her next therapist appointment, stressing that she really needed to talk to someone, but she says she is uncomfortable talking to the therapist about it because he is a man. I offered to call him and ask if there is a female therapist he could refer her to, to discuss these issues. I don't want to sever the relationship with him, but I want her to feel comfortable, and she clearly needs help with this particular issue. I assume that's an appropraite thing to ask the therapist?
This is long, I know. My basic question is this.. short of strapping on a chastity belt, and grounding her for life, any suggestions to help her avoid sexual temptation? I do my best to always know where she is and who she is with, but as she drives and becomes more independent, it's tougher to keep tabs 100% of the time. Any other suggestions you have are appreciated.
She came to me tonight, crying,c onfessed that she's already had sex with 5 boys, that she feels like a slut, and that she doesn't feel like she can stop having sex. I understand that "hypersexuality" is a trait of bipolar adolescents, and this really worries me. I especially worry because she admits she does NOT use a condom, and even though she's on the patch, her bipolar meds make that less effective. I've lectured her about that until I'm blue in the face, it does no good. There are many other issues here, including a verbally abusive alcoholic father who she rarely sees (we were divorced when she was 3), and a mentally ill (likely Bipolar as well, possibily BPD also), chronically ill 20 year old sister (Crohn's Disease) who we recently discovered was abusing pain pills (a subject for another post really!) I"m a single parent. Our family's stress level is busting at the seams, to be sure. I asked if she wanted me to move up her next therapist appointment, stressing that she really needed to talk to someone, but she says she is uncomfortable talking to the therapist about it because he is a man. I offered to call him and ask if there is a female therapist he could refer her to, to discuss these issues. I don't want to sever the relationship with him, but I want her to feel comfortable, and she clearly needs help with this particular issue. I assume that's an appropraite thing to ask the therapist?
This is long, I know. My basic question is this.. short of strapping on a chastity belt, and grounding her for life, any suggestions to help her avoid sexual temptation? I do my best to always know where she is and who she is with, but as she drives and becomes more independent, it's tougher to keep tabs 100% of the time. Any other suggestions you have are appreciated.