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View Full Version : time is changing, or cultural conflict?


Nanashi
06-15-2004, 07:26 PM
hello,

My daughter was a very sweet little girl who wrote me countless "I love you mommy" note until junior high.

Then things changed. She treats home like a hotel, she started coming home past 2am all the time. She never talk to me except for a monthly reminder to get lunch money. My husband and I both work long hours, we usually don't get home until past 11, so making lunch and dinner for my children was not an option.

Then one day, when she was 15, she suddenly swallowed three bottles of pain killers with beer in school. I got a call from her teacher and I carried her to the hospital.

A psychiatrist came to see her after she recovered. She seemed happy! The psychiatrist determined she was okay, it was probably just school stress (competitions, trainings, exams), and she was released from the hospital.

But in the next 6 months, she repeated the drug overdose 3 more times.

And she refuses to see the psychiatrist, when I tried to drag her to the hospital, she shoved me, and I said to her, "How can you shove your mother?"

And she screamed to me in rage, "you can beat me with a cane all the time when I was little, and now you act oh so hurt that I give you a little push, huh?"

Finally, I asked her what did she want, she wanted to get out of this country. I send her to study aboard in a foreign country, the tuition and living expense is a huge straint for the family, but I did it for her anyway. I bend backwards to do things for her, my husband and I are barely making end meets, we moved to live in a down right inhumane, hazardous housing situation, just to save money for her to spend in Canada. But she continues to act with disrespect and sometimes even raw hatre towards me.

Is this just a normal teenager rage? Or is this something else?

I know caning children is generally frowned upon todays, especially in the west. But in my culture (Asia), in her generation, caning was not at all uncommon. I have a son who is in his early 20s now, he is three years older than his sister, and he seems okay. We caned both of our children, though we probably caned our daughter more. She made it to elite school, in math olimpic teams, etc. We know she has potential if she works hard, and we tried to help her stay focused. We don't want her to turn to our son's path -- dropped out of highschool, started smoking, play computer games constantly, and only work sporatically. But at least he is respectful to us.

I was beaten with boots and knuckles by an alcoholic father throughout my childhood and early adulthood, I was never resentful to my dad like my daughter is to me now. Both of my siblings use caning at home, and their children seem to be the ideal pious Chinese children. I don't understand, why can'T my daughter get over it?

Was it a mistake to sent her to a western country to study? Is this just a result of different culture believes regarding how children should be raised?

I am visiting her currently, and I saw in her journal, hateful messages like "I hate you mom, I want you to die slowly and die now." She mentioned nightmares from "beatings" - the disciplinary caning that I used when she acted out of line, or when she did poorly in school.

She also seems resentful to her father. When our dog accidentally killed a newborn kitten by stepping on it, my daughter was so angry, she started whipping the dog with the cane. My husband stopped her, and in her journal, she wrote, "dad, you loved the dog more than you loved me. You saved the dog, but for 16 years, you never saved me."

I think it's beyond the point to discuss whether corporal punishment is valid way of raising children. I was raised that way and it did me no harm, I certainly didn't cane my daughter out of resentment. But she seems really resentful of me.

Today, when she did laundry, I tried to help, and she yelled at me and told me to get out of her face.

Will this just pass? IS this a normal teenage rage? Is there anything else I can do?

Mike Bradley
06-16-2004, 02:58 PM
Dear "Mom",
While lots of debate goes on about corporal punishment, I believe that the research is pretty clear in demonstrating that, at best, beatings are a waste of time as a method of discipline, and at worst they can breed the kind of rage you see in your daughter. Yes, some people do undergo parental beatings and seem to do OK, but those are usually the exceptions, and they also seem to be people who were able to forgive the beatings because they felt some other loving connection to their parent. The danger with beating a child is that any love connection between that child and parent usually gets consumed in the fires of rage that go on inside a beaten child.
Please take a minute to try and remember, really remember what it was like for you to get assaulted by your own parents for the first few times. Can you not recall a terrible confusion, a silent scream asking, "If these people truly love me, then how can they do this to me?" Can you not also recall an old rage that burned inside of you when you were being beaten, a horrendous feeling of helplessness of not being able to hit back, to defend yourself? Please try and get that feeling in your head, because that is what is likely in your daughter's heart and you are the only one who can help her with that pain.

How? By saying that you are sorry for what you did. You need to apologize to your daughter for hitting her. You need to tell her that you were completely wrong, and that there is NO excuse for what you did. You and I know that you were simply doing what you thought was good parenting. BUT OFFER NO EXCUSES AND NO RATIONALIZATIONS. If you are to help her with her rage, you must attempt to reconnect with her by showing her heartfelt, unconditional love by giving her a heartfelt, unconditional apology. Then ask her to please consider seeing a therapist WITH YOU to see if together you can repair the damage done by the whippings. Give her time to think this over.

Please move quickly. There still is time to fix things, but not much. This is a girl you could lose forever if you can't find the courage to apologize.

Attention other parents who've dealt with this: Any thoughts?

Nanashi
06-18-2004, 12:34 AM
Dear Mr. Bradley,

I really appreciate the discussion and advices. Things seem to be cooling down a bit, I think the conflicts might just be the results of living apart for a long time, then living together again.

It is interesting that you said it is the exceptional children who grew up okay from parents who use corporal punishment. Almost everyone I know in my generation grew up in homes that used corporal punishments of some sorts; most children I know, including children of my collegues, siblings, my son, etc, also grew up with some degree of corporal punishments, but none of them seem resentful about it, so I am at lost at what puts my daughter in so much rages. I am not trying to side step responsibilities, what is done is done, I just want to understand what is going on, because this is very confusing to me. I, too, would be interested to hear about other parent's experiences in this.

-C.

Carlene
06-18-2004, 02:27 PM
I think one of the key themes of Dr. Bradley's book is that times have/are changing. Many children of earlier generations didn't feel they had the freedom or the power to fight back against their parents. Now the media shows them that they are beautiful and desireable, and that there are options for them outside of their "safe" home. So teenagers especially are not complacently taking the punishment they used to.

I've been there...I too grew up in a household where my father administered "spankings" when we misbehaved--often on the bare behind with a wooden paddle. I remember the fear, pain and humiliation vividly. And yet, when I faced parenting myself, I'd feel myself get out of control and resort to what I knew...I became a spanker myself--bare handed only. But no more!

After every spanking, I would tell my daughter how sorry I was that it had come to that. Then one day, I hurt her badly enough, and realized how much my actions were because of my own anger, that I made a deal with her. I would hit her no more.

It's not easy, and there have been times that I have thoughtlessly "swatted' her. But I've let her know in no uncertain terms that hitting is wrong, and because I love her so much, I will try every other way to remind her what behavior IS acceptable.

I agree with Dr. Bradley, that you can't use your own background or culture as an excuse. Tell your daughter that you were wrong inthe past because you didn't know any better, but that now you do. Apologize from your heart, tell her how much you love her, and ask for her forgiveness. It's time to foster mutual respect, and NOT fear!

Nanashi
07-01-2004, 07:38 PM
Hello Carlene and Doc Bradley,

Thank you for the inputs.

I am also posting to apologize, I am not the mother; I am the daughter.

I don't understand how my brother can still put up with her, smile to this person who used to beat and terrorize us.

I don't understand how my cousins can put up with their parents, smile to them, walk their handicapped father to the vehicle, drive him around town, etc, when we shared many tearful nights talking about our childhood abuses. We even discussed how to pick a cane that hurts less when we were in elementary school.

I guess I am trying to deal with my guilt, what's wrong with me? Why am I alone so unforgiving? Is it my western educations? Do I read too much french philosophies? My martial arts teacher call them "french trouble makers" that undermind "asian values." I am ready to blame it ... or anything at all, anything that could make sense of my confusion and hate will do.

If it can be fixed, I wish I could fix my relationship with my now-very-nice-mother. Just like in school, I slack off for months, then cram before the exam and get a good grade. She is nice to me now, why can't I just pretend she never mistreated me?

But I can't fake trust. I can't fake not being hateful and angry ... and afraid. I haven't seen her for a year, then she come visit me, and I woke up crying every day since she arrived. Then my body shrank away from her involuntarily when she touches me. Then I tremble in bed, thinking she is on the other side of the door. Then I start crying when we were in the back seat of a car, and her body pressed against mine when the car turns. I just want to scream, "get away from me, haven't you hurt me enough?"

Talking to dad helps, I wish I could talk to mom just like that. But I can't even say "good morning" to her, I hate her so much, it's simply impossible to open up to her.

I will go see a councilor when school starts again. I will also work to save my own money to see a councilor recommanded to me by someone I trust. I wish I could go to councilling with mom, but it's not possible. I blurted out to her once, in tears, about the abusive, humiliating, violent things she did to me when I was little, and she just turns red and stomp away saying, "I don't know what you are talking about, I don't remember doing such things." Except dad remembers.

This is so unfair, she sowed the hatred in my heart, why am I the one to have to work ALONE to resolve it?

I apologize again for lying, I thought it would be easier to "forgive" mom if I could understand her view points, but it's not helping at all. Coming to this forum and reading about what others parents are willing to do for their kids, only makes me want to cry more.

Mike Bradley
07-02-2004, 10:42 AM
Dear Nanashi,
That was so courageous of you to tell us who you really are. I very much admire your strength. Thanks for trusting us enough to tell us the truth.
What you are feeling makes SO much sense, given what you have gone through. You are NOT crazy or bad. You are a human being just like the rest of us, but one who is carrying a lot of stored up rage and pain. You have to begin to let that poison out of you.
Please see your counselor again now. Work with her/him on how to best talk with your Mom about what happened. You have to keep at this so that you can get past all this pain and get on with your life. I promise you that your life will get so much better as you deal with your past.
Please also stay in touch. I know that there are lots of parents reading these notes who were also beaten as kids. They might have some words for you as well.
You are in our thoughts, Nanashi. Please keep working in this. You are worth it!

bracha1
05-20-2007, 06:23 PM
My 15 and a half year old teenager is popular and beautiful, although she struggles on occasion academically. She has one sister--age 14--who is our biologic daughter via IVF. Since she has been very young, my older daughter has been much closer with her father. my younger daughter, who looks like me and is an Honors student, is very close with me. Over the last year, however, my older daughter picks fights with me over the smallest innocent comment, accuses me constantly of loving her sister more and of being "allied" with her and has generally, been hostile and obnoxious to both of us. On occasion, she reverts back to "normalcy" and is a pleasure, but this is happeneing less and less. Our home is a battlefield. If I am studying or reviewing material for a test with her (at her request) and I ask her, for example, to explain something, she will start screaming at me that I think she is stupid, that she knows I hate her etc etc. I am flabbergasted! Itry to show my love for her all the time. I am a busy professional but I have compromised nmy carreer to help her with schoolwork when she needs it, to always be there for her etc. I do not know what else I can do. She refuses to speak to a therapist and I am emotionally exhausted. She has assured me that when she gets her drivers license at 17, the "first thing" she is going to do is find her birthmother. My friends tell me that all of this is just being done to push my buttons. What can I do?????????Help!:( :(