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elsie
06-19-2004, 05:36 AM
Thank you for being here, Dr. Bradley and forum members!

Dear Dr. Bradley:

K. is an active, attractive, intelligent, well-traveled 16-year-old young woman. Last summer, she traveled to DC and learned the Metro while I was at a conference, she went to Outward Bound, a Christian camp, and a Catholic retreat in which she was “slain in the spirit.” On a sunny Sunday afternoon during K’s one free week, my husband and I decided to take a walk. When we returned, K was gone and her younger sister said she’d been gone for about 3 hours. She returned without comment some hour or so later, although she began IM-ing like mad. When I asked, “K, what’s up? She only said “it’s important.” Four days later, we learned she had been raped. Her behavior toward us was one of anger: in my first opportunity to talk with her when I learned the news, after I said, “K, I’m so sorry,” she looked at me angrily and pushed me away without saying a word.

What ensued can only be described as projective identification. She thought we’d be angry with her (which we weren’t at first. We were crushed for her loss and terrified about HIV infection), but her anger eventually provoked us to anger, and then her belief became a self-fulfilling prophecy (that we’d be angry with her).

Since, then, we have had no communication. Out of 3 counselors I located, K. interviewed and then chose her favorite and attended for about four months, but she never opened up to the counselor and eventually dropped out. (We and the counselor suspect it was because the counselor spoke with us and thus lost K’s confidence, even though the counselor did not tell us what K was telling her.)

During this time, K wanted to take driver’s ed, so we decided to use this desire as a bargaining tool (big mistake?): she could begin driver’s ed as soon as we discussed the rape with her (we wanted to tell her we are with her, give her a chance to talk to us, share feelings, find out about and talk to the boy who did this to her). I thought this could be a “negotiation.” No way. She refused the discussion, so we passed on driver’s ed. Then she shut down completely, to the point of refusing to utter a single word to us. She gave us the silent treatment for several days, including Christmas. Her grades plummeted. The counselor recommended that we reinstate driver’s ed, regardless of not succeeding in talking with K. We did this, and K. became slightly human again and grades rallied at the end of the year.

Now, in addition to not talking, she has taken to long disappearances without telling us whom she is with or where she is, despite our telling her we love her, we’re worried, we need to know where she is. (This has happened 3 times, the first time from 11 a.m. to 10 a.m.) Per your suggestion, we warmly received her after the first disappearance. We also figured she left because we are planning on living for two months at a coastal town, 1 ½ hours away. (Her friends are invited down, but she’s still unhappy about it.) Also, since her disappearances, which we deem as irresponsible because she won’t tell us where/whom, I have declined her requests to drive, saying, “not this time, K.” However, my husband did take her for a drive yesterday. Yesterday on her message board she wrote, “not this time, K” and disappeared for another 8 hours.

Communication is nil. We cannot even write to her. She no longer opens notes (the last one suggesting counseling again, this time without any involvement from us). When home, K. stays in her room or avoids us at every turn. (She does eat with us at dinner, during which we talk about weather, politics, and other dumb stuff.) When we ask what can we change so she doesn’t see running away as a solution, she says things will never change.

We are trying to find another counselor, but you seem like the best, Dr. Bradley. DO you make house calls?!! The ideas in your book, however, don’t address this. We know “time and a half” won’t work for this “weekend warrior” type, and, obviously, she doesn’t trust that we are capable of trying to negotiate.

I have a personal counselor who says that K’s feelings are in “deep freeze.”

We are heartbroken and scared. I feel I can do nothing right.

Elsie
P.S. K’s older stepbrother (in his 30s) died two and a half years ago, too.

Mike Bradley
06-19-2004, 08:15 PM
Dear Elsie,
The experience of rape for a teen is so profound, so painful, and so complex that there is no one treatment for it. The game is to take whatever sharing the girl is able to do, and then focus on keeping as close as she'll let you be.
I've worked with many (too many) girls like your daughter who put the rape experience in "deep feeze" for 12 to 18 months before even beginning to share their feelings.
My guess is that your daughter is trying to be as normal as possible, trying to regain what she had before the attack. She needs to feel in control, and so any mention or reminder of what happened to her is something to be shunned and avoided, since it reminds her of being terrifyingly out of control.
Stop pushing her into treatment. She now knows what shrinks are like, and perhaps in the future she will take advantage of that. For now, take her on her terms and follow her lead in terms of how she wants to relate to you. If she wants no mention of the rape, tell her that you will honor that, but that you are always there if ever she wants to share. Build back the closeness of your relationship with her. Let her see that there are some things a rapist can take from her, but others that he cannot ever touch, namely your relationship with her and your love for her. She might be feeling as if she is no longer "K", but "the rape victim." Spend silly time doing whatever she wants to help her remember that she is not just a rape victim, but is still "K."
I've seen other girls like "K" who would also take off on their own as a way of handling stress prior to getting treatment.
Let her know that you understand that her disappearances might be ways for her to heal, and that you don't intend to take those away, but that you would appreciate it if she could just stay in touch to let you know that she's OK, and to give you a way of contacting her in an emergency.
This is one of those times where a parent's love must be patient, quiet, and firm. Time is a healer, so let it do its work.
You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.

elsie
06-20-2004, 10:06 AM
Dear Dr. Bradley --

Thank you for helping me feel less lonely in this trying time. Your suggestions -- to back off of the therapy idea, to give her a sense of control -- and to show some understanding of the need for the disappearances -- are sensible approaches. I found your suggestion that we ask her to call us and give us a way to reach her in an emergency to be brilliant! That was the solution we were groping for but, which, in our myopia, we couldn't find. Actually, a couple of those times, she did call to emphasize that she was o.k., but she wouldn't tell us where she was. So we're halfway there without even trying.

You're a Godsend! Thank you for sharing your time and expertise, and for giving us the hope we desperately need.

Elsie