Unruley Teen v1.2

[leliav]

Just an update. This week the school system decided to let my son back in the school system till the end of the year. This is unexpected good news for me, but I don't think my son realizes what grace has been bestowed upon him. All the organizing, planning and allowances will mean nothing unless he is on board with this. Based on how he does (If his behavior improves and he works hard, the school will ease up on restrictions and he'll be able to come back next year.)
Are there other resources that can help me help my teen? Perhaps mini-seminars or classes that can help him have the tools to (1) manage his anger, (2) help him realize that he is a wonderful, talented, capable human being and live out of that sacred place. and (3) to think before acting impulsively.
I try to tell him he is wonderful, etc., but he thinks all those things are "stupid". But, as you say in the newsletter, it's my sacred duty as a parent to model by my behavior, so I will keep telling him these things in blind faith it will sink in sooner or later.
I am trying to apply as many of the "40 Assets" in our family as I can, but how can we get a teen to get involved in helping in the community, when he totally set against it? He has too much unstructured time on his hands and gets into trouble, so how do I get him to get a job/help the community, etc. so he will have less time to get into trouble? Thanks again.
-LeliaV

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Mom:
First, it's best to address these questions to the counselor you are working with. He/she best knows you and your son. Perhaps ask if they think your son might be depressed? Teen depression can very often look like acting out .
That said, you might now have to throttle back and trust. This means that your son has made it clear that he will not do things you know might be good for him just becuase you say so. He likely needs to sort things out for himself. Keep raising "dispassionate" suggestions, and keep telling him every day that you love him and are scared for his future, but add that he's a "young man" now and must decide for himself. Perhaps if you can remove the control struggle between you he might make better decisions.
Keep us posted and good luck!
Mike Bradley