sherrie
10-07-2004, 04:20 PM
Hello, just found this forum, and am excited to be here. I have read your book, and it is something my husband and I wished we had had a few years ago, when our children were smaller, to gear us up for what lay ahead. We have a 21 year old daughter, who is doing well in college, and we just had the typical moodiness, etc. with her. On the other hand, we also have a 17 year old son who has been a constant source of worry for a while now. If you don't mind, I will give a little history.
Our son has always done well in school, played some sports, etc., until he entered the 8th-9th grade. He lost interest in sports, and his grades at school started a gradual decline. About 6 months ago, he told me that he felt like he was suffering from depression. I explained to him that some of that is typical normal behavior for teenagers, but if he felt like he needed to that we would provide counseling for him. He was not ready to do that, so it was left at that, with me asking him periodically how he was doing. Sometimes he felt better, sometimes worse. This past summer we found out that he had started smoking pot. He has been smoking cigarettes for about a year now. We talked with him, discussed the dangers, and our concerns. He promised he would stop, telling us we could drug test him anytime. We found no evidence until recently. He started school this past August, as a senior. He has now decided that he would like to drop out, get his GED. And since this has not been an option for his dad and I, he is now purposely flunking out of school. He skips frequently, doesn't turn in any work, etc. When asked about it, we were told that he didn't want to finish the year, and that we could make him go, but that he wouldn't do the work. He admitted smoking pot again and drinking some alcohol. He doesn't have any goals, shows no motivation for anything. He claims that he doesn't care about anything. We told him last week that he needs to go to counseling, for depression and substance abuse, and he said that he wouldn't talk, that we would just be wasting our money. At this point in time, we absolutely don't know what to do. We try to be patient, spend time with him, talk with him. We told him that we love him, worry about him, want to help him, but we don't know what to do for him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
After browsing these forums, I find it sad that there are so many parents dealing with issues at these, but at the same time, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. Thanks again, Sherrie
Our son has always done well in school, played some sports, etc., until he entered the 8th-9th grade. He lost interest in sports, and his grades at school started a gradual decline. About 6 months ago, he told me that he felt like he was suffering from depression. I explained to him that some of that is typical normal behavior for teenagers, but if he felt like he needed to that we would provide counseling for him. He was not ready to do that, so it was left at that, with me asking him periodically how he was doing. Sometimes he felt better, sometimes worse. This past summer we found out that he had started smoking pot. He has been smoking cigarettes for about a year now. We talked with him, discussed the dangers, and our concerns. He promised he would stop, telling us we could drug test him anytime. We found no evidence until recently. He started school this past August, as a senior. He has now decided that he would like to drop out, get his GED. And since this has not been an option for his dad and I, he is now purposely flunking out of school. He skips frequently, doesn't turn in any work, etc. When asked about it, we were told that he didn't want to finish the year, and that we could make him go, but that he wouldn't do the work. He admitted smoking pot again and drinking some alcohol. He doesn't have any goals, shows no motivation for anything. He claims that he doesn't care about anything. We told him last week that he needs to go to counseling, for depression and substance abuse, and he said that he wouldn't talk, that we would just be wasting our money. At this point in time, we absolutely don't know what to do. We try to be patient, spend time with him, talk with him. We told him that we love him, worry about him, want to help him, but we don't know what to do for him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
After browsing these forums, I find it sad that there are so many parents dealing with issues at these, but at the same time, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. Thanks again, Sherrie