lyn
10-28-2004, 07:03 PM
Hi, I'm not sure where to even start. I have a 13 year old son. Last school year he started seeing a girl at school. They didn't see eachother out of school, with the exception of school skate night, and school dances.
Her mother made things very hard for them. I tried to get her to get to know ME, so that we could work together, and allow the kids to see eachother, supervised, at eachother's houses, perhaps take them bowling as a family, etc.
She wanted none of this. They were too young, period, no negotiating. I tried to make her understand that by keeping them apart (at one point they were not allowed even on the phone, because they "kissed" goodbye at the bus door in the school parking lot), she was only making them want to be together more.
Well, since then, I have discovered the girl has OCD, she has attempted suicide, and she cuts herself. I then found out that at the beginning of this school year, the kids had an argument at school, so my son cut HIMSELF. Let me add here, that he is a straight A student, never been in trouble, never any problems, until this girl came along.
So at this point I'm happy her mother won't cooperate with them, right? :) Well, he came home today, and announced that they are now allowed to do things together, as long as the mother doens't have to see or deal with me!!!
I have so much to say about this on so many levels, and I did lose it a little with my son. I told him that first of all, was someone going to ask me if it was ok they do things together now? And that if he expected to go to their house, her mother was going to HAVE to deal with me. They are 13 for pete's sake, he's not going someplace where I will have no idea what's going on...in my eyes her mother and I MUST communicate to make sure things go smoothly and that they are supervised!
Soooo, needless to say, my wonderful, straight A student, beautiful son, who i adore more than anything, now hates me, lol! I would like to know how to deal with this, how to proceed? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
thanks,
Lyn
Her mother made things very hard for them. I tried to get her to get to know ME, so that we could work together, and allow the kids to see eachother, supervised, at eachother's houses, perhaps take them bowling as a family, etc.
She wanted none of this. They were too young, period, no negotiating. I tried to make her understand that by keeping them apart (at one point they were not allowed even on the phone, because they "kissed" goodbye at the bus door in the school parking lot), she was only making them want to be together more.
Well, since then, I have discovered the girl has OCD, she has attempted suicide, and she cuts herself. I then found out that at the beginning of this school year, the kids had an argument at school, so my son cut HIMSELF. Let me add here, that he is a straight A student, never been in trouble, never any problems, until this girl came along.
So at this point I'm happy her mother won't cooperate with them, right? :) Well, he came home today, and announced that they are now allowed to do things together, as long as the mother doens't have to see or deal with me!!!
I have so much to say about this on so many levels, and I did lose it a little with my son. I told him that first of all, was someone going to ask me if it was ok they do things together now? And that if he expected to go to their house, her mother was going to HAVE to deal with me. They are 13 for pete's sake, he's not going someplace where I will have no idea what's going on...in my eyes her mother and I MUST communicate to make sure things go smoothly and that they are supervised!
Soooo, needless to say, my wonderful, straight A student, beautiful son, who i adore more than anything, now hates me, lol! I would like to know how to deal with this, how to proceed? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
thanks,
Lyn