Sooo many friends

[CHERYL]

My 12 year old has so many buddies the phone and available activities never stop. He handles declining invites so graciously and almost always arranges another time to do something with a friend he has to decline an invite from. Mother guilt.... If I praise him for this will he feel compelled to over book himself to accomadate his friends?

My 9 year old isn't a teen yet but Mother guilt ... would overcome me if I didn't say something nice about him. He is at that angel stage. He cares about everyone and is very receptive to peoples feelings. Even his big brothers. We worry sometimes that he is to sensitive.

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Cheryl,
NEVER, EVER hesitate to praise your wonderful kids. You can only do good! Kids need this praise to help them offset the inevitable self-esteem crash that occurs in adolescence for most kids. With both sons I'd praise them like crazy for their big hearts, and then just ask if they sometimes feel pressured to be so good. Gently raising the issue allows them to mull it over and learn about themselves, and make changes if they need. Let them use you as a sounding board more than an advice expert.
Keep up the great work!
Mike Bradley