sharing a parents past

[Charlett]

I have a question that other parents may have. Should you tell you teen about things you did in your past that you wish you would not have done? My husband thinks you should and I feel you should not. He thinks they will learn, I think it gives them permission. I also think it depends on the child. A child testing the waters needs no encouragement, so is there a simple answer.

Thank you

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Charlett,
The bottom line for me is that I don't think we really have a choice. If we start to lie to our kids, how are they supposed to know when we're telling the truth and when we're not? What does lying do to our relationship if and when we are uncovered?
I hate to give your husband a "told-you-so" opportunity, but I agree that telling kids of our mistakes only can make them wiser. I don't see it as permission-giving.
Besides, just after you finish telling your teens about how drug-free you were as an adolescent, your Uncle Louie shows up and says, "Did she tell you THAT? Oh, man, who is she kidding? Let me tell you some stories..."
You can't fight the Karma of parenting.
Be well.

[anxious]

Isn't your own experience, bad decision or good, more meaningful than an anecdote without a face? Who would YOU rather take advice from? Someone who had experienced something, or someone who had read an article on the issue once upon a time, ohhhh maybe a few years ago, geeeee I can't remember exactly where? Go ahead! Admit you screwed up! It could be a powerful thing!