Unconfertable position

[pjordan]

Hello all

As of lately we have been seeing some strange things from my 6 year old son. One of them is him and a friend were in his closet with the doors closed. I do think that some of these things are related to childs sexuality starting to come out more.

What are the normal things im going to expect out of my son and what may be the things that i need to watch out for. This is important to me because i dont want to go overboard on disapline on things that will be natural.

If you can provide any resore sights that would be great.

Thanks
Phil

[janetmcilvaine]

you are so right to seek input from other parents...it can be shocking to realize that your child is already aware of his or her sexuality.

Rest assured that your 6 year old and his friend in the closet are not the only ones that have become curious about their bodies. Here's something to think about...around that age, kids seem to realize that they will be adults someday and that they might be a mom or a dad... which brings up ALOT of questions about the different body parts and exactly how it all works. Lots of parenting books describe these experiences or "experimenting" as "normal" for a range of ages from pre-school through grade school - even with the same sex.

But if you are worried that your son has a curiosity that seems somehow unhealthy, I suggest that you discuss it with your child's doctor - schedule a consultation appointment or discuss it at your next well child visit preferably in some privacy with the doctor. He or she can tell you whether the behavior you are concerned about is within the bounds of what is expected. That is your ace in the hole if you are really worried - get a professional opinion.

Here's a summary of the best advise I've received on what to do when sex comes up:
Don't panic.
Don't make sex an "off limits" topic.
Don't shame.
Keep them talking.
Answer the questions honestly and simply.

Basically, you want him to get his information from you (a reliable source) whether it's before or after he's talked to the kids on the playground or in the closet (not necessarily reliable sources).

Your son has likely developed some awareness of his sexuality and the pleasure associated with it. In my opinion, our job as parents is to help our kids integrate that awareness with all the other aspects of life...like manners, public verses private behavior, self respect, respect for others, etc. We can't do that if we stick our heads in the sand or force our kids to hid their sexual awareness completely.

In Dr. Bradley's words, ask yourself what you want for your child. What do you want to teach your son about sexuality? Imagine him as a grown up, what is it that you hope he will know about sexuality at that time? Take that answer [however vague] and try to boil it down into an idea or two that you can fall back on when these situations come up...I found that to be helpful whenever the topic of sex came up with my daughter (who's almost 15 now).


If you haven't ever seen the book " Where Did I Come From?" by Peter Mayle, let me know if you have trouble finding it. Though your son may not be asking this question yet, just reading the way they explain things can ease you into the idea of talking about sexuality with your son.


I hope this has helped you in some way.
best wishes