problems with my teen and her Dad

[momwith4]

I am new to posting so here goes -

My daughter (15) and my husband do not get along. They can't seem to be in the same room for over 10 minutes before some friction breaks out. They yell at each other and my daughter calls him names and they both have to have the last word in an argument.

I've been reading your Teens are Crazy books and have tried to explain to my husband that the yelling isn't working and he agrees but she just keeps "pushing his buttons"

Last Sunday, I asked my daughter to babysit her little brother so that I could go shopping with Dad. I had planned to pay her for babysitting but hadn't yet. Later that day, her Dad took her to the bank so she could deposit her first paycheck. When the teller asked if she wanted any cash back, her Dad reminded her that she had borrowed 10 dollars from him earlier in the week. She said, "So, I babysat for you guys, and don't owe you anything." They got into another big argument and she called him a jerk.

Now my husband won't talk to her until she appologises (never gonna happen) .

I had a talk with my daughter telling her that her babysitting for me was an entirely different transaction from her borrowing money from her dad. She may very well get the same 10 dollars back from me that she paid her dad, but that she owes her dad the ten dollars and an appology.

No one is still talking.

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Mom,
Forget about the babysitting money, the apology, and all of the other issues. These are just the excuses that your daughter and husband use to fight, and these will be endless.
The real issue is something else. What that thing is must be sorted out in family counseling.

Sit these guys down and tell them how painful it is to see two people you love so much hurt each other so much. Tell them that I said these situations can cause fathers and daughters to lose each other forever, and never really know why. And that is really dumb.

Then ask that you all (as a family) to go see a counselor a few times to sort out what is going on. If they resist, ask them what they are afraid of. When they say "Nothing," then ask that they humor you by wasting a few hours with the therapist.

Good luck and please write back to tell us how things turn out.