janie
04-19-2005, 09:55 AM
We took our eyes off the road for 5 months, allowed the boundaries to disappear and discovered through the rumor mill that our 13 year old son and his friends were probably experimenting with sex (with their "friends with benefits"), maybe alcohol, but don't know for sure because no one's talking.
Anyway, we confronted son with information and he declared that he would unilaterally disengage from that group. I, for one, don't care to dictate who his friends are, so I made great efforts to let him know that we were just reinforcing the boundaries (curfew, phone call length, knowing where abouts, etc.), not banishing friends. Nevertheless, he made efforts to disengage from the group.
He's fallen in with a new group - they play poker on Friday nights and occasionally golf and play ping pong. It seems ok, though he hasn't really connected with anyone in particular. He's recently been getting calls from another 13 yr old boy, whose parents are very lovely, public figures in our community. This boy seems nice, but I have learned that this boy's older brothers are "pot-heads." That concerns me, but I'm not sure how much I should be concerned. After all, I have no reason to believe this boy is a drug user and it seems grossly unfair to judge him by the sins of his brothers.
My son is a typically sullen 13 year old, who has some glimmering moments and will occasionally talk to me, though not necessarily about his social situation. His grades have slipped from a 3.5 to a 3.1, but he's keeping his head above water. He's nasty to his younger sister (7.5 years old), but has a pretty good relationship with his 16 year old brother.
Anyone have wisdom on this?
Anyway, we confronted son with information and he declared that he would unilaterally disengage from that group. I, for one, don't care to dictate who his friends are, so I made great efforts to let him know that we were just reinforcing the boundaries (curfew, phone call length, knowing where abouts, etc.), not banishing friends. Nevertheless, he made efforts to disengage from the group.
He's fallen in with a new group - they play poker on Friday nights and occasionally golf and play ping pong. It seems ok, though he hasn't really connected with anyone in particular. He's recently been getting calls from another 13 yr old boy, whose parents are very lovely, public figures in our community. This boy seems nice, but I have learned that this boy's older brothers are "pot-heads." That concerns me, but I'm not sure how much I should be concerned. After all, I have no reason to believe this boy is a drug user and it seems grossly unfair to judge him by the sins of his brothers.
My son is a typically sullen 13 year old, who has some glimmering moments and will occasionally talk to me, though not necessarily about his social situation. His grades have slipped from a 3.5 to a 3.1, but he's keeping his head above water. He's nasty to his younger sister (7.5 years old), but has a pretty good relationship with his 16 year old brother.
Anyone have wisdom on this?