weewillyd
06-03-2005, 08:31 AM
Hello,
I'm new to all this. My eldest daughter is only 11. But as I look toward her 18th birthday, I know that she will one day be on her own making decisions by herself at college or wherever. I realize that I really have to begin letting go now or the "shock" of her newfound freedom may be overwhelming and she may make major poor decisions if she has not been given the practice in making decisions up to that point. But how do I do that??
I mentioned to Mike last night that it occured to me that there are seven years between the ages of 12 and 18, and that there are seven days in a week (stay with me here :) ). What if I took one day a week beginning on her 12th birthday and told her that on that day I would not correct her or scold her or discipline her for the choices she made on that day (unless of course she needed correction in a situation that was going to cause her physical harm - like putting her hand on a hot stove). If there were things on that day that were significant to me, I could make a note of that thing and then at the end of the day I could sit with her in a non-judgmental way and simply share what that concern was with no consequences.
I figure that if I add another day to her "freedom" each year, by the time she is 18, she will have grown in her ability to handle and think through her own actions and for me - I will have grown in the ability to let her "go" and either trust her, or come to terms with how she is growing into her own person.
Now, since I am a real newbie at all this, I would really love your thoughts. Maybe you have tried something like this and have some suggestions or cautions or maybe you have some comment. I look forward to hearing from you. God bless you!
www.sexisnotforkids.com
I'm new to all this. My eldest daughter is only 11. But as I look toward her 18th birthday, I know that she will one day be on her own making decisions by herself at college or wherever. I realize that I really have to begin letting go now or the "shock" of her newfound freedom may be overwhelming and she may make major poor decisions if she has not been given the practice in making decisions up to that point. But how do I do that??
I mentioned to Mike last night that it occured to me that there are seven years between the ages of 12 and 18, and that there are seven days in a week (stay with me here :) ). What if I took one day a week beginning on her 12th birthday and told her that on that day I would not correct her or scold her or discipline her for the choices she made on that day (unless of course she needed correction in a situation that was going to cause her physical harm - like putting her hand on a hot stove). If there were things on that day that were significant to me, I could make a note of that thing and then at the end of the day I could sit with her in a non-judgmental way and simply share what that concern was with no consequences.
I figure that if I add another day to her "freedom" each year, by the time she is 18, she will have grown in her ability to handle and think through her own actions and for me - I will have grown in the ability to let her "go" and either trust her, or come to terms with how she is growing into her own person.
Now, since I am a real newbie at all this, I would really love your thoughts. Maybe you have tried something like this and have some suggestions or cautions or maybe you have some comment. I look forward to hearing from you. God bless you!
www.sexisnotforkids.com