should i not let my duaghter go out?

[timrob]

should i not let her go out with her boyfriend? she is 16. she just admiited she was having sex with him. he's 17 and has been in trouble for drinking. his brother is a convicted drug addict who's been sent off to a drug treatment center. my daughter says she loves this kid, but she's 16 and they almost had unprotected sex before getting interrupted. she's a good kid. i just don't know what to do. she seems very depressed since i stopped letting her see him 2 weeks ago. any suggestions?
tim

[Mike Bradley]

Dear TM,
Play the middle road here. If this boy is not dangerously involved in drugs (alcohol is a drug), then perhaps allow your daughter to see him in safe, supervised settings (at your home, with a group at the swimming pool, and so on). Be clear with her that these conditions are needed because she has shown that her sexual judgement is not yet good. Then add that you do not wish to pick her friends or boyfriends for her, that these are decisions she needs to make fer herself.
If you just cut her completely off from him, he can become Brad Pitt in her eyes, an unrealistic fantasy figure with whom she might consider running away.
Good luck.

[timrob]

thanks! we'll try that
tim