Sibling Rivalry

[gijeff58]

Our oldest daughter gets so upset when any of her friends or especially her younger sister gets their hair cut the same way. She, the oldest, is infuriated and will give up friends when they style there hair that looks like hers. Our youngest wants to hang out with our oldest daughters friends and our oldest daughter gets very upset about this. Our daughters are two years apart and are 16 and 14. What do we do?

[fairmountgirl]

I am not sure that I will be of much help as I am three years younger than your eldest daughter and my sister is three years younger but I will throw my two cents in none the less.

Until the last six months ago my sister (fifth grade) and I tolerated eachother but that was about the extent of that. Over the summer she was granted permission to tag along on bike rides to starbucks and ben and jerry's and the park with my friends. I got a mirror on my bike and slowed down a little and the insight I now get from my sister on all kinds of things is soooo helpful.

At first I thought she was too little but convincing your daughters to do things together ("Could you walk this down to the mailbox for me?" "Would you guys mind starting the birthday cake?" "You would give another perspective--- could you proof-read your sister's paper for her?") could really help. It started that every once in a while she would pop out of nowhere with a comment like "You understand her side of this arguement, don't you? All she means is...." but it has become more constant.

In addition things that would have made me upset like when she tried out for a part in a show that I knew she was going to get but I knew there was no part for me, I went along. Cheered for her after her shaky decision not to audition and then cheered her on when she decided to go and try during make-ups. I helped her practice her solo to be sung in front of the whole congregation and screamed the loudest of anyone there during her curtain call.

maybe time together is all your daughters need

BEST OF LUCK