MarcyRNKS
09-12-2002, 10:11 AM
I hope someone can give me some insight here ... I am truely at a loss, for one of the first times in my life.
I have 2 daughters, ages 15 and nearly 17. My problem at this time is with my eldest ... keeping her grades up has been a continual struggle for her (more for US) ... the problem does not lie with intelligence .. it lies with motivation and discipline. She is a Junior this year, and our school has a program that allows parents and students to access grades online, which are updated everyday. I thought that this would encourage her to keep the grades at an acceptable level (C or above), but so far, it hasn't. She has always been one that needed "wake-up calls" every now and then, and she's always been able to pull her grades up whenever she HAD to. I've never understood why she didn't just keep them up in the first place.
Anyway, this year, she began hanging out with a girl that my husband and I view as an undesireable influence. We've tried not to protest to the relationship too much, because I remember what happens (after all, I was a teen just yesterday ... holy cow, has it been 20 years???)
I have noted more in the last 6 months, that she is disrespecting me/us more and more ... she even says things to her father that floor me ... but I guess what floors me most is his lack of reaction much of the time to what she says and how she says it. My husband was raised in a much more strict atmosphere than I. We have had many "sit-downs" with her where we talk about her behavior. Things are good for a while, then they slide back again. For probably about the past 2 years, it seems to me that I am unsupported as a parent by my husband. He sometimes contradicts me in front of our daughter when I am trying to talk with her about something that I'm unpleased about with regards to her behavior. Sometimes, just his silence when I could use his verbal support, is like a slap in the face to me as a mother. I can understand why she seems to have very little respect for me. I need to regain this, but I have NO idea how.
I know this seems fragmented, and I apologize for this ... I look forward to anyone's responce here ...
Thanks
I have 2 daughters, ages 15 and nearly 17. My problem at this time is with my eldest ... keeping her grades up has been a continual struggle for her (more for US) ... the problem does not lie with intelligence .. it lies with motivation and discipline. She is a Junior this year, and our school has a program that allows parents and students to access grades online, which are updated everyday. I thought that this would encourage her to keep the grades at an acceptable level (C or above), but so far, it hasn't. She has always been one that needed "wake-up calls" every now and then, and she's always been able to pull her grades up whenever she HAD to. I've never understood why she didn't just keep them up in the first place.
Anyway, this year, she began hanging out with a girl that my husband and I view as an undesireable influence. We've tried not to protest to the relationship too much, because I remember what happens (after all, I was a teen just yesterday ... holy cow, has it been 20 years???)
I have noted more in the last 6 months, that she is disrespecting me/us more and more ... she even says things to her father that floor me ... but I guess what floors me most is his lack of reaction much of the time to what she says and how she says it. My husband was raised in a much more strict atmosphere than I. We have had many "sit-downs" with her where we talk about her behavior. Things are good for a while, then they slide back again. For probably about the past 2 years, it seems to me that I am unsupported as a parent by my husband. He sometimes contradicts me in front of our daughter when I am trying to talk with her about something that I'm unpleased about with regards to her behavior. Sometimes, just his silence when I could use his verbal support, is like a slap in the face to me as a mother. I can understand why she seems to have very little respect for me. I need to regain this, but I have NO idea how.
I know this seems fragmented, and I apologize for this ... I look forward to anyone's responce here ...
Thanks