vintagewriter
06-03-2006, 07:34 PM
At 12 and a half, my daughter is not quite a teen but is displaying all the signs of a rebellious one. She has changed dramatically since starting at senior school 10 months ago.
Before that, we spent time together as a family, she enjoyed the company of her friends, was polite and, although not academically bright, her grades were always middle of the road. She was conscious about doing her homework and would ask her dad or me for help if she was struggling with schoolwork.
In the past 10 months, she has been caught stealing from a department store, rushed to hospital after collapsing drunk in our local park (I still have no idea who supplied her with alcohol) and has just received her worst school report EVER. Her grades were appalling in every subject and there was a recurring theme throughout the report with every teacher saying that she makes no effort whatsoever, has failed to hand in homework on 9 occasions (when I ask her each day if she has homework, she says no), is argumentative with teachers and disrupts the class.
She rarely makes it into school before lunchtime, despite me waking her at 7am. She seems to have no conscience about getting to school on time, sits about in her pyjamas combing her hair and putting on make-up (even though I tell her no make-up she puts it on anyway).
We have handed out consequences for her behaviour, imposed strict rules etc etc but the situation has got worse. She seems to have a problem with authority because she argues with her teachers, argues with me and despises being told what to do. She calls me disgusting names (too foul to mention on here), and threatens to commit suicide if she cannot get her way. She frequently tells me that when she is dead it will be my fault and that I'm a bad mother and she hates me.
Our approach to her behaviour is usually calm but firm but on a number of occasions I've lost my temper and raised my voice. She normally laughs in my face, but on one occasion, a few months back, she complained to her school and they sent social services to our house. The school are now in constant contact with us as they are monitoring her attendance and behaviour.
My daughter and her dad get along better than what I do with her at the moment, although their relationship is not great either. He is her stepdad (we married 4 years ago). She doesn't seem particularly bothered about keeping in touch with her real dad, although I encourage it. He lives 650 miles away so they only get together a few times a year and speak once every few weeks on the phone.
When we moved here (just after I married my husband) she didn't want to come as it meant moving away from her grandparents, dad, aunts and uncles. But she settled okay and made some good friends and I wasn't worried about her .... until now. My husband and I have a toddler daughter and a baby son and my eldest is affectionate and loving towards them.
She has no interests apart from her friends and computer. She quit dancing and drama a year ago.
Where do we go from here? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Before that, we spent time together as a family, she enjoyed the company of her friends, was polite and, although not academically bright, her grades were always middle of the road. She was conscious about doing her homework and would ask her dad or me for help if she was struggling with schoolwork.
In the past 10 months, she has been caught stealing from a department store, rushed to hospital after collapsing drunk in our local park (I still have no idea who supplied her with alcohol) and has just received her worst school report EVER. Her grades were appalling in every subject and there was a recurring theme throughout the report with every teacher saying that she makes no effort whatsoever, has failed to hand in homework on 9 occasions (when I ask her each day if she has homework, she says no), is argumentative with teachers and disrupts the class.
She rarely makes it into school before lunchtime, despite me waking her at 7am. She seems to have no conscience about getting to school on time, sits about in her pyjamas combing her hair and putting on make-up (even though I tell her no make-up she puts it on anyway).
We have handed out consequences for her behaviour, imposed strict rules etc etc but the situation has got worse. She seems to have a problem with authority because she argues with her teachers, argues with me and despises being told what to do. She calls me disgusting names (too foul to mention on here), and threatens to commit suicide if she cannot get her way. She frequently tells me that when she is dead it will be my fault and that I'm a bad mother and she hates me.
Our approach to her behaviour is usually calm but firm but on a number of occasions I've lost my temper and raised my voice. She normally laughs in my face, but on one occasion, a few months back, she complained to her school and they sent social services to our house. The school are now in constant contact with us as they are monitoring her attendance and behaviour.
My daughter and her dad get along better than what I do with her at the moment, although their relationship is not great either. He is her stepdad (we married 4 years ago). She doesn't seem particularly bothered about keeping in touch with her real dad, although I encourage it. He lives 650 miles away so they only get together a few times a year and speak once every few weeks on the phone.
When we moved here (just after I married my husband) she didn't want to come as it meant moving away from her grandparents, dad, aunts and uncles. But she settled okay and made some good friends and I wasn't worried about her .... until now. My husband and I have a toddler daughter and a baby son and my eldest is affectionate and loving towards them.
She has no interests apart from her friends and computer. She quit dancing and drama a year ago.
Where do we go from here? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.