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View Full Version : 15 yr old..skipping....leaving home...influential friends


Lynda
06-17-2006, 02:46 PM
I have a 15 yr old son who doesn't do great in school but can....and has in the past.....this year he started skipping.....he was offered help at school to assist him with his work, and he missed alot of that!! I worked with the teacher to help him at home.......in the last 2 weeks of school, he skipped alot.....thruout all of this, he was told clearly that he would have to attend summer school if he failed a class....and he would have to do so in another town with his Dad.....

He got into some trouble at home and got angry and left home for the nite to a friends (not the first time). He called and wanted to come home and I said that was fine, but he needed to understand that it was under our rules....he agreed...the last thing I said, was "You have 5 days of school left....don't skip". the very next day he skipped......He is now on the line for failing another class.....

His friends are an issue, but my question is ......I've told him he must go to his Dad's and if he refuses, he'll not be able to stay at home......(there are many, many trust issues and we can't leave him in the house)......I think getting away from his friends and influences will be helpful......am I wrong in doing this? I've told him I love him and the house is always open to him, but not if he can't be trusted and improve his behaviour and responsiblity.....He's also been to counselling and did stop due to logistics, but he usually is willing to go.

He is terribly mouthy and belligerant with me, likes to argue and get his way, has done damage to the house due to anger, and thinks he should be able to do what he wants if he does his chores and is home by a curfew.....has stolen and lied a tremendous amount....

....I've tried being calm, stopped the grounding, and most other things.....I feel at a complete loss and scared to death I'm sending him over to the "bad side".

Mike Bradley
06-24-2006, 08:45 PM
Dear Lynda,
First please accept my apology for this delayed response. I've not been able to keep up with the letters to this forum (Attention other child experts and parents: PLEASE HELP BY RESPONDING).

"Logistics" must not stop you guys from seeing a counselor. Get him re-engaged with his prior therapist ASAP. This kid is in great pain and seeking dramatic ways to act it out.

Please move quickly.

Charlett
08-10-2006, 07:31 AM
My daughter is defiant most the time. Feels are rules are to stick has broken my rules and the law. Fortunatley she is not physically aggressive toward people. The house has recieved some damage. She is fifteen. It breaks my heart evey day. We go to therapy together, and that does help some. But just last night I believe she lied about where she was and who she was with. A car drove my at 11pm and dropped her off.( she is not allowed to get in cars with teen till sixteen) We have decided that she will have to pay the conequenses for her actions and I am not going to cover for illegal actions. Its been a long long two years. Since I have controlled my reactions I have a little more peace. Sometimes I do see a glimmer if resposability. I have no answers but always do aomething becasue they do not understand that they could be putting there life in danger. I am here if you just want to talk. Just keep loving your child and remember he is responsible for his actions not you. You can advise and direct if he chooses to abuse it it is not your fault.

Charlett