New to Board

[annar39]

First, I'd like to say that I love Dr. Bradley's book. Recently, I have been reading about adolescence, because I have two girls who are 13yrs old and 15yrsold. I wish that I had this information when my 15yrold turned 13!! But I am very glad that I have it now!!

My 15yrold has had problems with the raging since she was 12-13yrs old. We took her to a psychiatrist who dx'd her with Bipolar Disorder (no signs of depression)..She no longer is taking medication and her dad and I feel that she was dx'd incorrectly. We both feel that she was just being 13, but at the time the Dr's seemed to think she had BP because it is in my family.

Long story short, she stopped her medication last Oct (due to side effects) she is doing well. She still has her moments, but we don't see her raging like we saw at 13.

I have a good friend who is a child/adolecent psychiatrist and she thinks that NO child between the ages of 13-16yrs old should be medicated, unless there is school refusal (we didn't have that) or clear signs of depression (we didn't have that either). I think what we had was a normal 13yrold that we didn't know how to handle, now that we have been reading about adolescence, we have come to realize that our kids are "normal", whatever that means for a 13yrold or 15yrold.

I just started reading your book, but have already had to laugh a few times, I agree that laughter HAS to be incorported in this age group, because if you can't laugh at some of this stuff, I think we'd all go crazy!!!

My mantra has been "Now I know why animals eat their young"!!

[Mike Bradley]

Dear "Mom",
Thanks so much for your story. We do often reach too quickly for the meds, which can create a whole second set of problems. But still keep an eye out for possible bi-polar symptoms since it runs in your family. Often these symptoms fully emerge in late adolescence.
But, as a rule, we always want to exhaust all other possibilities before using powerful drugs. And one possibility is always "normal" teen craziness. Great job!
To those readers who might be shocked by your joke, please remember that these private, "insensitive" teen jokes help us parents stay calm and loving even in the face of terrible provocations from our teens. One of the most gentle and loving parents I've ever met is a therapist who has raised three terribly challenging teens herself. She often shocks her friends when she coos over their beautiful babies and then whispers, "but don't forget to kill 'em before they get big."
Mike Bradley

[annar39]

I am sincerely sorry if I offended anyone with my mantra, it was meant as a joke. I need to speak this way so that I can stay sane, so far everyone who I've said this too, laughs and nods their heads. I do apologize though if someone got offended.

Thank you for your reply. We are definitely continuing to monitor our daughter for signs of BP, so far so good.

I have been suggesting to other parents to read your book.

I was wondering since you are in the Philly area if you are doing any kind of speaking engagements?

Thanks.

[Mike Bradley]

Dear "Mom",
I'm finished speaking until the fall, and to date, I have no parent workshops scheduled. I'll try and keep my schedule updated on this website so you can see if I'm appearing locally in the future. Feel free to write if you'd like to put something together in your area.
Again, thanks for your website comments. Don't worry about your joke. The only folks who would likely be upset by it haven't yet faced tough teen years. Keep laughing!
Mike Bradley

[annar39]

Dr. Mike:

Thanks for your reply. Right now our 7th grade class in our school has been going through some really tough times since the beginning of the school year. I think that the teachers and the principle are trying very hard and most of the parents support them 100%.

The kids have been doing pretty much regular teenage stuff, we are in a Catholic school system, I don't know if that means anything, I don't think it does.

The teachers have been working with the students once a week about their feelings, clicks and so on. So far I haven't heard anything about how they are trying to fix these things.

There were a couple of incidents recently where some of the students were suspended for a couple of days because of their behavior (my child was not involved), and one had to get counseling in order to return to school, and while I commend the staff for dealing with the problems immediately, they don't seem to be getting that the root of the problems have to do with how these kids feel about themselves and how they feel within the school building.

I talked with the principle yesterday, he knows that the kids are really good kids, but there seems to be a lack of communication between the parents and the teachers. He wants to set up a mandatory meeting with the parents, him and the teachers, so everyone "is on the same page" as to what is expected.

I had asked my daughter's teacher for this kind of meeting months ago, when I found out that this particular class was misbehaving so much. I don't ever remember this class having so much trouble socially or behaviorally..there are always a few kids that like to push the envelope, but this year seems to be particularly bad for this class.

I did ask my dd's teacher about this and she said that ALOT of the kids were immature, more in that the average age at this point is still 12, my dd turned 13 in Nov.

I think what upsets me the most, is that this class has now gotten the reputation as being a "bad class" when it's only 5 or so kids that are causing the trouble. This class has one more year to go in this school..I hope we get things figured out soon.

That's why I asked if you do any speaking engagements..I watch your website and speak with the teachers and the principle about possibly coming and talking to the 5-8th grade parents.

Thanks again!!