help with drug use

[munrogirl]

My son is using and nothing I have tried is helping. He sees a drug counselor once a week. His use is increasing. He has OCD ADD social phobia etc. He has friends over and smokes in the house. He does not understand the problem with this. I have tried everything. He is very bright and manipulative. I need help as he runs the house with his drug use and not following the house rules. He does what ever he wants. I have tried everything I can think of but need help. I have locked the door but he left his window open and got into the house. Whatever I do he finds a way to go around it. HELP!!!!!

Thank you for the support.

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Mom,
If you have tried everything, and worked hard with your counselor to no avail, then you might consider having your son arrested for possession of drugs (assuming that he is a minor). If your local juvenile justice system is a good one the judge will mandate treatment and drug testing for your kid, with residential treatment if he screws that up. I know this sounds drastic, but if the alternative is to allow your son to waste away in a drug life, then it may be time for drastic action to hopefully save his life. Consult with his therapist before doing this since she/he may be familiar with your local system and can better advise you.
Please keep us posted.

[munrogirl]

Thank you for your reply. I have had the police come to the house. They called a social worker in because of his mental issues. They talked with him for about a hour and told us to keep going to the drug counselor. She wants us to keep him at home. She feels he is self-medicating. He has been on Zoloft for 4 years and sees a doctor for this. I feel that some of it is his mental issues, being a teenager and his personality but the total disregard for our family is very challenging. I understand what they are saying that he will struggle in treatment because of his OCD. We have a few treatment facilities but in Ontario the child has to agree to go. The drug counselor said she can arrange it when he is ready. In the mean time what do we do as family. I was reading that you talk about not discipling but rather having them work toward something. I feel that the drugs are winning and that we are losing him to his addiction. Any thoughts would be most welcome. Thank you again.

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Mom,
One advantage of having juvenile drug use and possession culturally defined as illegal behavior is that it sometimes can provide a therapeutic structure that can be forcibly imposed upon a child such as yours. Since your local laws apparently don't permit that, I worry that his continued use (with no apparent enforceable consequences) can allow an addiction to take root and become "hard-wired" into his soft teen brain.
That leaves me with two thoughts. The first would be to consider having your son live elsewhere for a period of time with the proviso that perhaps 6 months of clean drug tests will allow him to return to his home (and friends). If (when) he resists this, offer him the same deal, namely clean drug tests for the privilege of living where he wants. I know this sounds severe as well, but the longer he uses, the tougher it can be to stop.
The second thought is to do a med review. Four years is a long time to be on that med, and it might not be working (I note the counselor saying that your boy is medicating himself). He may need to be switched to another medicine.
Please keep us posted.

[munrogirl]

Dr. Bradley

Thank you for the note. I have made an appointment with his doctor and his therapist. I know we have a long road ahead of us but he seems to have realized that I mean business. Than you again for your support.

Joanne

[munrogirl]

We have switched his medication so hopefully this makes a difference. They also recommended that he only take 2 subjects at school as he is struggling with 4. Hopefully this will help. Thank you again for your help.