ohmomma
05-25-2007, 07:20 AM
Dear Dr. Bradley
We are proud parents of four beautiful children. Our oldest, a 14 year old son, is handsome, bright, funny, and charming. He is also the one keeping us up at night, reading your book, looking desperately for some advice... He is still reachable, in no small part thanks to your wonderful book. Sorry he refuses to open your book for teens...
We have been dealing with his impulsive, resistant, and attention-seeking behavior since he was very small. He was also incredibly smart, and funny, and sweet, and we love him. His behavior was never malicious, but rather impulsive.
My suspicion was that he has high stimulation ADD, but this was never confirmed. I was told his issues were behavioral. But, I have to say, that constant stimulation, of any kind, is what he has always seeked. If it was quiet, he would create something to make a stir.
Until 6th grade, he was in the gifted and talented program, got very good grades. In Middle School he became VERY defiant, and would not listen to us or his teachers. I gave up pushing for good grades, and instead tried to focus on pushing for good character. He flunked out of the enrichment program, got suspensions for threats, inappropriate behaviors, insubordination, etc. Huge arguments followed. Failing grades, more serious suspensions nearly got him kicked out of school. The raging at home that sometimes happens when he doesn't get his way, resulted in broken windows and walls, and his jumping off the deck to run away. (Caught him though)
Because of the grades, the District finally tested him. He scored very high to superior on IQ, but low on self esteem and organization. He wrote about conflict, and revenge. No wonder, for a kid who got in trouble all the time, and thinks he is "bad". He did get classified and is now eligible for some counseling services through the district for next year. But he doesn't cooperate with our private psychologist, and simply won't talk. Dr's are suggesting we hospitalize him, and call on the courts to help. (We feel like we're going from "no help" to "extreme") The school wants us to put a PINS order on him, if he gets out of control again. He has little fear or respect of authority. He doesn't connect his actions with the consequences that ensue, so grounding, taking privileges is almost futile.
Some weeks ago we finally got a prescription for Ritalin, a month's supply as a test, but our son refuses to take it, or fakes swallowing it.
He refuses to cooperate in counseling, curses and rages in an almost disconnected state. It's scary to watch. We do try to remain calm. The counselor won't see him again for now, since he can't get him to talk after two months. He is also urging hospitalization or outpatient treatment.
We found out he has been stealing from stores with some other kids. We let him have some freedom, since he did bring his grades up some in the last weeks. But everytime he gets privileges to go out, our trust is broken. The psychologists say he is a very high drug risk. We know he's already tried pot.
We love our son!!! We want his true self to come out. We must reach him right NOW. He is becoming so different. Any advice will help. Please, please... I don't think if I can get him to the hospital willingly. And I fear a complete breakdown if we use force to get him there.
We are proud parents of four beautiful children. Our oldest, a 14 year old son, is handsome, bright, funny, and charming. He is also the one keeping us up at night, reading your book, looking desperately for some advice... He is still reachable, in no small part thanks to your wonderful book. Sorry he refuses to open your book for teens...
We have been dealing with his impulsive, resistant, and attention-seeking behavior since he was very small. He was also incredibly smart, and funny, and sweet, and we love him. His behavior was never malicious, but rather impulsive.
My suspicion was that he has high stimulation ADD, but this was never confirmed. I was told his issues were behavioral. But, I have to say, that constant stimulation, of any kind, is what he has always seeked. If it was quiet, he would create something to make a stir.
Until 6th grade, he was in the gifted and talented program, got very good grades. In Middle School he became VERY defiant, and would not listen to us or his teachers. I gave up pushing for good grades, and instead tried to focus on pushing for good character. He flunked out of the enrichment program, got suspensions for threats, inappropriate behaviors, insubordination, etc. Huge arguments followed. Failing grades, more serious suspensions nearly got him kicked out of school. The raging at home that sometimes happens when he doesn't get his way, resulted in broken windows and walls, and his jumping off the deck to run away. (Caught him though)
Because of the grades, the District finally tested him. He scored very high to superior on IQ, but low on self esteem and organization. He wrote about conflict, and revenge. No wonder, for a kid who got in trouble all the time, and thinks he is "bad". He did get classified and is now eligible for some counseling services through the district for next year. But he doesn't cooperate with our private psychologist, and simply won't talk. Dr's are suggesting we hospitalize him, and call on the courts to help. (We feel like we're going from "no help" to "extreme") The school wants us to put a PINS order on him, if he gets out of control again. He has little fear or respect of authority. He doesn't connect his actions with the consequences that ensue, so grounding, taking privileges is almost futile.
Some weeks ago we finally got a prescription for Ritalin, a month's supply as a test, but our son refuses to take it, or fakes swallowing it.
He refuses to cooperate in counseling, curses and rages in an almost disconnected state. It's scary to watch. We do try to remain calm. The counselor won't see him again for now, since he can't get him to talk after two months. He is also urging hospitalization or outpatient treatment.
We found out he has been stealing from stores with some other kids. We let him have some freedom, since he did bring his grades up some in the last weeks. But everytime he gets privileges to go out, our trust is broken. The psychologists say he is a very high drug risk. We know he's already tried pot.
We love our son!!! We want his true self to come out. We must reach him right NOW. He is becoming so different. Any advice will help. Please, please... I don't think if I can get him to the hospital willingly. And I fear a complete breakdown if we use force to get him there.