help?

[jackswastedlife]

Doc:
i`m not a parent, and legally, i`m not even an adult. I read your book, however, and was impressed with your level of insight into the adolescent mind. I wrote this message in the alchohol thread, but it doesn`t belong here, entirely. I am planing on seeing my doctor about depression, however, because he is a long time friend of the family, i feel that it would be hard to tell him all the issues i have been dealing with.
i have been living the past to years in a sort of cloud. during the summer, i feel ok, but through most of the fall, winter, and spring, i am lifeless. i don`t want to do anything with my friends, i sleep all the time or can`t sleep at all, i drink heavily whenever i get the chance, and i sometimes resort to cutting myself or erasing my skin to help me feel alive.
That`s the average depression part. however, i also sometimes have strange instances when i wake up in the middle of the night. i can`t really describe them well, but i`ll try. I wake up out of a nightmare. However, even though i am awake and can see and move, i am still filled with a dreadful horror that can only be described as a foretaste of hell. These episodes last for about twenty or thirty minutes. I only have them in the winter times, and they occur at random intervals, sometimes three times a week, sometimes there is a full month between them.
Any explanations/suggestion would be appreciated more than you can imagine....
seth walters

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Seth,
RUN, don't walk, to a new physician you don't know (and thus can be completely honest with) and tell her/him every detail of your experience. You are indeed seriously depressed and you are also experiencing something called night terrors. There are a number of things that can cause your symptoms, some of which are physical issues. So first, you need a thorough medical evaluation to check you out. Following that, the physician will decide with you what the next best step may be. That could include medications, further tests and/or therapy.

Seth, hear this next part clearly: YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THIS!!! I'm worried that you've been like this so long that it sort of feels like this is who you are. Know that your symptoms can be effectively and often easily treated, and your life could feel terrific to you once again. But you must make the committment to get your rear end to the doc---NOW. Pick up the phone and make the appointment. Don't wait until you "feel" like it. That day might never come.

Please write back and let us know how you make out. Many other young people who also may be suffering like you will read your story, and can be helped by reading about your recovery. Remember, depression is not who you are---it's a vicious disease that keeps you from being who you are. Push back at it---make that call!
Mike Bradley

[jackswastedlife]

Thank you much, Doc. I have an appointment set up for this thursday. i`ll get back to you on the decisions/results etc....