02-08-2008, 12:48 PM
My 14 year old son moved back home after living with my inlaws (his choice) his choice for a year. My motherinlaw finally got fed up with his attitude, dirty mouth and lying. She thought that living there she and his grandfather could "fix him". It worked for a bit, but the "honeymoon" phase wore off. Now he is back home with us (his father, two younger sisters and me). To make the transition easier, my inlaws agreed to let him use the guest house on the property so he would have his privacy and own bathroom. Its only about 50 feet from our house. Wed. he had a fit when I wouldnt stop and get him something since I didnt have enough cash to also get his sisters something. His reply was F them. After he had a snack (I know low blood sugar can cause his anger) he asked to use the computer. When the program didnt work the way HE wanted it to, he started going off about the "f-ing piece of s*** computer. I told him to stop as did his dad and go cool off. I offered to figure out what the problem was. He came up later and aske to use the puter to watch a movie and I said "No" because of how he acted. He went all nuts again. He left and came up later and was then allowed to watch part of his movie. Now to yesterday (thursday). We live on a very isolated property and it is mostly an unpaved road to the house. E asked if he could drive my car home from a certain point. I told him No, as he was 14 and i didnt trust him. This got him swearing and punching the car. He repeatedly asked and said his being under age and with no license wasnt a real reason. He also said he'd buy and car then do what ever he wanted. After he calmed down, he asked to use the computer to finish what he had been doing the night before. I said he had an hour til his sister's turn. When his hour was up, he gave me a hard time about it but his dad stepped in and told him to go. By that time his sister didnt want to use the computer and I was using it. B and her younger sister (they are 11 and 6) were riding bikes when they smelled smoke. B thought it was her cousins and went to look and found E burning a towel very close to the guest house. B came up to tell me but was very scared as to how her dad and E would react. She whispered to me what was going on. Hubby said he didnt want to know what E was doing (hubby hates any kind of confrontation). I said fine let E burn all the stuff he wanted. Hubby got up and told E to stop. E then realized that his sister had told me. He rode his bike to chase her screaming obscenities and saying he was going to kill her while she ran to lock herself in the bathroom. I blocked his path and he shoved me and pushed me into the wall. He got past me and started punching the bathroom door, breaking the wood. He was still screaming and making threats when I told him I was calling the police. He didnt believe I would. By this time, my husband had left to go to the store. I left a message on his phone and called 911. E heard me on the phone and started screaming if any cops came up he would fight them etc. Hubby by this time had gotten part way home. E took off on his bike to relay his side of the story. The dispatcher called back and I told her that hubby was trying to calm E down and I would call back if I needed further help. Hubby came up and told me that I should take the girls to a hotel. I refused since E was at fault. I told him what happened, that E was out of line etc. I then walked down to talk to E with his dad. E blamed everything on his sisters and me. He also said that his attitude was my fault since I dont work full time and wont buy him everything he asks for, that when I do work I cant take him where he wants when he wants. He NEVER accepts responsibility for his actions. I dont know what to do. It is wrong for his sisters to live in fear from him. I wont allow him to get physical again with me, I made that clear. I really want him to be evaluated but hubby doesnt want that. Hubby was very similar to E but "grew out of it". Should we start first with the school counselors? His middle school last year had suggested a boot camp type program.