Found secret hiding place and found pot, now what?

[4doorvette]

Dr. Bradley, I read your book and especially the chapters on drug use and our situation did not have a good response for our child. He just turned 16 and his older brother(18) has told us before that the 16y/o has smoked before despite his denials and negative drug testing (i know, wrong thing, but he was fine with it and there was no warning and it was negative). Recently I again approached him about drug use and he vehemently denied it, since a couple of his friends were caught with it.
Our older son told where to look and we found a bag with some clumps of pot in it, hidden in the back of a PS2 machine. Parents there is a secret compartment in the back of the unit. NOw, what to do!!! Yes, I am angry , of the lie and now the evidence, but if I know my son he will deny his use and say he was keeping it for friends, which still is unacceptable in my house. How to approach him that we found this withou implicating my older son, and not to have hive rebel? I thought of taking the pot and leaving a note that he was busted and come talk with us. Just not sure what to do. It still may not be his. Help us soon. Thanks.
Dr. Dan

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Dad,
I think your best move is to simply tell your son what you found without answering about how you found it. Adding drama to an already tough situation (by leaving a "busted" note) rarely helps and often hurts (although that sounds like fun when we're mad, no?) Further, just sidestep his "it's my friend's" statements by saying that, his drugs or not, he clearly has some level of drug involvement.
It's important to separate the two issues here: the drug violation and the trust violation. Finding drugs again may require further random drug tests, getting a drug use evaluation, and some Net research on the effects of weed (which are much more profound than many believe) and so on. The second issue, the loss of trust, should be an even bigger problem you place back in his lap to ponder: "Son, how do we rebuild our trust? We hate having to wonder if what our kid tells us is the truth or not."
Of course there is no easy answer to that, but his wrestling with the question will do him good.
Take care.