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View Full Version : Sleeping: the teenage perspective



Melly
03-05-2009, 11:56 PM
I'm not a parent, but as a 16 year old I'd still like to give my input on teenage behavior. For one thing, my memory of what "being a teen" is like couldn't be sharper. For another, when my mom started getting teen psychology books (including Yes, Your Teen is Crazy), I ate them up like sugar cookies. My mom, on the other hand, hasn't completely finished a single one. So while this is a "parenting" forum, maybe an actual teen's perspective would be insightful.

Anyway, my mom went to one of Dr. Bradley's speaking events tonight, and came back with the knowledge that I, as a teen, should be getting 10 hours of sleep a night.

This is all well and good. I enjoy sleep immensely, and try to spend as much time on the weekends doing it. During the school week, however, 10 hours is impossible. My school starts at 7:30. My bus comes at 7. For 10 hours a night, I'd have to go to bed around 8:30, if not 8. For perspective, one of my extracurriculars goes from 6-9 two nights a week for 6 weeks, and I don't even get home until 9:30. I'd love to get 10 hours a night, but as it stands I consider myself lucky if I get 7 hours on a weeknight. Whenever there's a two-hour delay, the difference is amazing. Kids actually pay attention. It's like night and day. If our school started at 9, I think test scores would be up and everyone would be happier, including the administration. Unfortunately, I think Hell might freeze over before that happens.

Moral of the story: for most teens, 10 hours a night is an impossible dream. I've got friends who get around 8 a night, but almost no one makes it to 9 on a regular basis. I know it's a kind of weird thing to complain about, but one has to realize that saying we need 10 hours is not enough. Until schools start later, that's not going to happen.

I'm sorry for this kind of long rant (and yes, I realize I'm typing this at 12:30 when I should be asleep instead of finishing an essay or going on some random forum), but it seems to me that if you want to set a goal for your kid's sleeping patterns, it should at least be realistic.

On the positive note, I'd like to add that out of all the psychology books I've read, Dr. Bradley's was one of the best. It made me laugh, because a lot of what he described was exactly what was happening with me. The title was a little unsettling (I may be a hormone-raged adolescent whose brain is reconstructing itself, but honestly, I think on the whole I'm more sane/mature than some of the teachers at my school), but after that Dr. Bradley seemed to understand how the teenage mind works. Or, at least, that's how I remember feeling when I read it a few years ago. Maybe that's why I couldn't compute the 10-hour sleep thing, because I expect him to just understand so well that such a ridiculous idea as enough sleep seemed ludicrous.

ClanRoss
11-21-2009, 06:45 PM
Melly,

Thank you for your side andinsight, one should always know the ways of ones adversaries. I would have to say that your "memory" as you put it is not memories but current events. As parents we have years of experience's both good and bad that influence our decisions. These years can assist and sometimes hinder our "memory" But understanding that we have them and that is one reason that ours and yours will not always follow the same logic is a first step. On to your topic, I would have to agree that 10 hours is asking too much simply because of the logistics of life. My question for the Dr. would be how to irregular sleep patterns affect our kids. Our son (14)will stay up usually reading until 1130 and gets up around 630 or 700. On weekends however he will stay up as late as 4 and sleep till 12 or 1. We do get the note from his teachers about his zoned appearance at 830, or could it be that Math is his first class. Anyway, just curiouse about the off the charts sleep pattern. Thank you.

Jason...

Mike Bradley
11-23-2009, 12:10 PM
Dear Melly and Clanross,
Yes, Mother Nature did program adolescents to be getting 10 hours of sleep nightly, and yes, Melly, I agree that is likely impossible for almost all contemporary teens. I'd be ecstatic if all teens got 8 or even 7 hours of sleep in light of the sad fact that most get between 5 to 6 hours. For us adults, that would be like getting 3 to 4 hours per night, and trying to stay sane, something that most of us could not manage. We adults would then begin to develop symptoms such as distractibility, depression, anxiety, irritability---all those things we see in so many teens. And that sleep variability (up til 4 AM on weekends) also hurts normal weekday sleep patterns.
Clanross, you might try paying your son to try one month of 8 hours sleep nights with each of you keeping a log on his moods, energy levels, productivity and so forth. Tell him that you just want him to see who he might actually be with a near-proper amount sleep pattern.
Melly, thank you SOOO much for participating on these forums. I beg teens all the time to share their thoughts here.
Take care.