Hudson
11-11-2009, 10:27 PM
My 17-year old son has several casual high school friends he spends weekend time with who we now know smoke pot. He, along with several other of his friends in this group, have only experimented with smoking pot, and do not drink alcohol. (As luck has it, last week he unknowingly left a lengthy message on my cell phone while having a conversation with other friends about this subject, which clued us in on who's doing what. We saved this message, and have not discussed it with him yet.) There are no other signs of his making poor decisions: great grades, works part time, volunteers in the community, health conscious, etc.
My husband and I would like to talk with him about his decision to spend time with his friends while they are high. Our son will be making all his own decisions soon once college begins. Since he's still living at home, should we request he not spend time with these guys (in their homes) where they're finding a way to get high while there, or should we simply talk about the possible consequences which may follow if he chooses to spend time with them.
Should we alert the other parents now that we know who gets high on a regular basis? We do not know these parents, so this would be our first meeting, other than phone calls acknowledging that it was OK for my son to spend the night.
Our kids have no knowledge of my drug use when I was a teen/young adult. When is it appropriate to share prior drug use and other risky behaviors with your children? My husband wonders if our children might think it is OK for them to experiment with alcohol/drugs/sex/etc. if they knew their mother weathered through it when she was their age. I have respected his wishes, but wonder if honest conversations about the consequences I faced might serve as a good example. We will both defer to you.
Thanks, Dr. Bradley, for your reply.
My husband and I would like to talk with him about his decision to spend time with his friends while they are high. Our son will be making all his own decisions soon once college begins. Since he's still living at home, should we request he not spend time with these guys (in their homes) where they're finding a way to get high while there, or should we simply talk about the possible consequences which may follow if he chooses to spend time with them.
Should we alert the other parents now that we know who gets high on a regular basis? We do not know these parents, so this would be our first meeting, other than phone calls acknowledging that it was OK for my son to spend the night.
Our kids have no knowledge of my drug use when I was a teen/young adult. When is it appropriate to share prior drug use and other risky behaviors with your children? My husband wonders if our children might think it is OK for them to experiment with alcohol/drugs/sex/etc. if they knew their mother weathered through it when she was their age. I have respected his wishes, but wonder if honest conversations about the consequences I faced might serve as a good example. We will both defer to you.
Thanks, Dr. Bradley, for your reply.