parent
11-16-2009, 08:04 PM
Dear Dr. Bradley,
This is not an earth shattering, dramatic question compared to what I or others have asked in the past. We have been through hell and back with our son but now things are settling down, especially since he's been sober for awhile now.
My son just turned 18, and is now working toward completing his high school diploma. He's a very creative and smart young man but he doesn't seem to know that - maybe because school has always been a struggle for him since he has ADD and a learning disability. Over the years his teachers have told us time and time again that "he's not working to his potential", telling us he should be an A student. We were able to micro-manage him (to a certain extent) until he rebelled (we didn't know he was doing drugs up to that point) but we did notice that he was becoming more and more difficult.
In our family I guess you can say that I was the heavy - maybe trying to over compensate for my laid back husband. And because of this I feel it may have hurt our relationship to a degree. Although I tell him I love him and I do things for him I feel a distance between us. I know part of it is what his addiction did to him and part of it is his age but it pains me that I cannot seem to reach him.
He gets mad at me because I expect him to earn any money he asks for (which isn't much). He still has a sense of entitlement and he doesn't seem to get it.
I thought over time, once he was sober (it's been about a year) that we would become closer. Is this typical?
This is not an earth shattering, dramatic question compared to what I or others have asked in the past. We have been through hell and back with our son but now things are settling down, especially since he's been sober for awhile now.
My son just turned 18, and is now working toward completing his high school diploma. He's a very creative and smart young man but he doesn't seem to know that - maybe because school has always been a struggle for him since he has ADD and a learning disability. Over the years his teachers have told us time and time again that "he's not working to his potential", telling us he should be an A student. We were able to micro-manage him (to a certain extent) until he rebelled (we didn't know he was doing drugs up to that point) but we did notice that he was becoming more and more difficult.
In our family I guess you can say that I was the heavy - maybe trying to over compensate for my laid back husband. And because of this I feel it may have hurt our relationship to a degree. Although I tell him I love him and I do things for him I feel a distance between us. I know part of it is what his addiction did to him and part of it is his age but it pains me that I cannot seem to reach him.
He gets mad at me because I expect him to earn any money he asks for (which isn't much). He still has a sense of entitlement and he doesn't seem to get it.
I thought over time, once he was sober (it's been about a year) that we would become closer. Is this typical?