depression in 12-year-old

[benjalo]

Hi - my 12-year-old son is very depressed. His mood can be good or bad, but his overall situation is not very functional. I recently withdrew him from school because he tried and tried to go but would break down crying every morning when the time came to leave. He is enrolled in an online charter. (I think he probably also has undiagnosed ADD - no hyperactivity so he may have just been flying under the radar for a long time - and this probably makes his school situation much worse)

He has the classic symptoms of depression, and spends at least a few hours each day desperately sad. It's heartbreaking to see him suffering like this. We are seeing a psychologist but he isn't really making a good connection with him at all. We will probably switch to another one soon but in the meantime, I want to know when I should consider a psychiatrist (and I know that often means medication). I really don't want him medicated, but I feel so powerless right now. He is so extremely unhappy! How bad does it need to be before I stop trying to "wait it out" with the psychologist? I think the change of seasons will also help him, but I'm not sure how much.

Any suggestions for how to make a decision about seeking psychiatric help would be gratefully received.

[Mike Bradley]

Dear Parent,
That degree and apparent length of suffering for a 12-year-old simply cannot continue without relief. It has already cost him the ability to attend school, which is a huge social and emotional loss for your kid. First, consult with your therapist regarding his opinion about your son. Unless he convinces you otherwise, by all means see the psychiatrist ASAP to at least get a second opinion about what is going on. In fact I'd make that appointment now as you await seeing your psychologist. Most psychologists vigorously welcome any input from psychiatrists about treatment options, be they medicinal or psycho-therapeutic. And be sure to make getting your son back into normal school a priority goal of treatment.
Finally, reassure your child that you will pursue this until you get him the pain relief he so terribly needs. Be sure he understands that he will not have to live like this much longer.
Take care.