View Full Version : Older boy dating younger girl without permission
01-06-2005, 07:31 PM
My 19 year old son is dating a 15 year old girl. I have talked to him and discouraged this relationship as best I could but he wants to see her and will no matter what I want. The girls parents do not know about this. Should I contact the parents and tell them what is going on? I would tell my son that I am going to do it before I do. I would feel better about the relationship if I knew the parents gave their permission. I am afraid when I go away for a few days, my son will have the girl stay over. If the parents know then maybe they would keep an eye on her better. She lies to them now about where she goes when she is with my son. I have checked into the laws in my state so the age difference is not a problem legally. Any advice greatly appreciated
01-07-2005, 11:50 AM
If you haven't yet tried this line, do so. Ask if he truly cares about this girl, and if so, how can he risk harming her since at 15 she is not able to safely get romantically involved with a 19-year-old. Explain that she could be seriously damaged emotionally and even physically (if she gets pregnant) by this realtionship. Try and help him see the huge developmental differences between 15 and 19.
If your son is unwilling or unable to see the problems here, then I'm afraid you must tell the girl's parents. I would point out to your son that if he's OK with dating a girl that young, then he should also have no problem with being upfront with her parents.
I would also be very clear in demanding his word that he will not have her in your home when you are not home. If you can't trust that he will honor this, then you must make other arrangements to minimize the risks to this girl by denying your son your home when you are away. Even if your state has no legal prohibitions against this relationship (by the way, double check to be sure), there are moral/ethical issues that your son must start to think about.
Good luck and please keep us posted.
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