lsybil227
03-31-2006, 05:00 PM
Dear Dr. Bradley,
I have read your book and it has helped me a great deal. However, I am very concerned about my 16 and a half year old daughter. My daughter was adopted at 3 weeks and is beautiful, smart, and bright. For much of elementary school she was very quiet in public, she had social anxiety and was thought to have Selective Mutism as she was very verbal and active at home but not in public. She used to be a good student. At age 14, she started opening up and hanging out with neighborhood kids...at that time her study habits fell apart and she stopped trying in school. I think the novelty of having lots of friends and being popular became more important than good grades.
She also has anger issues, and has had sporadic violent verbal arguments with her father since age 12. She has been driving since age 15, and got her license at 16. She is a skilled driver but did have one recent minor accident. My daughter can be very defiant, lies, often disobeys curfew, and hangs out with a rough crowd and a boy that is a poor student attending an alternative school...he lives far from our neighborhood and when we refused to drive her to see him, she took the bus which put her in dangerous areas. She does not seem to drink or take any drugs.
On the positive note, she recently got a job and shows up and is working hard...saving money to buy a car. We have suggested therapy but she refuses to go. She was also tested and diagnosed with ADD. After initial opposition she is just starting on Aderall which seems to be helping with her concentration and motivation. My main concern is her poor grades, lack of effort/interest in school, and the displays of anger. She has gotten so angry she has punched the wall and hurt her hand. My question is, how serious are her problems, and does she need therapy to help her through them? How much is "normal" teenage angst vs. something more serious. In any event, should we use going to therapy as a a "bribe" for helping her buy a car, which she desperately wants?
We do plan to limit her having the use of the car with obeying curfew and trying harder at school. She is open to a tutor and we are getting her one. Any insights or suggestions are welcome. Thanks so much.
Worried Mom
I have read your book and it has helped me a great deal. However, I am very concerned about my 16 and a half year old daughter. My daughter was adopted at 3 weeks and is beautiful, smart, and bright. For much of elementary school she was very quiet in public, she had social anxiety and was thought to have Selective Mutism as she was very verbal and active at home but not in public. She used to be a good student. At age 14, she started opening up and hanging out with neighborhood kids...at that time her study habits fell apart and she stopped trying in school. I think the novelty of having lots of friends and being popular became more important than good grades.
She also has anger issues, and has had sporadic violent verbal arguments with her father since age 12. She has been driving since age 15, and got her license at 16. She is a skilled driver but did have one recent minor accident. My daughter can be very defiant, lies, often disobeys curfew, and hangs out with a rough crowd and a boy that is a poor student attending an alternative school...he lives far from our neighborhood and when we refused to drive her to see him, she took the bus which put her in dangerous areas. She does not seem to drink or take any drugs.
On the positive note, she recently got a job and shows up and is working hard...saving money to buy a car. We have suggested therapy but she refuses to go. She was also tested and diagnosed with ADD. After initial opposition she is just starting on Aderall which seems to be helping with her concentration and motivation. My main concern is her poor grades, lack of effort/interest in school, and the displays of anger. She has gotten so angry she has punched the wall and hurt her hand. My question is, how serious are her problems, and does she need therapy to help her through them? How much is "normal" teenage angst vs. something more serious. In any event, should we use going to therapy as a a "bribe" for helping her buy a car, which she desperately wants?
We do plan to limit her having the use of the car with obeying curfew and trying harder at school. She is open to a tutor and we are getting her one. Any insights or suggestions are welcome. Thanks so much.
Worried Mom