Blended Family/Teen

[NancyK]

My son is almost 14, I am remarried and have a 10 yr old step-daughter. When it is just my husband, my son, and myself, any teenage tantrums/outbursts/disrespect/etc. directed at either one of us or both is handled as you say, we lower our voices, we mostly walk away, etc. This usually works (we laugh alot in the other room) However, when my step daughter is there - how does her father walk away from someone attacking him? He is caught between dealing with my son dispassionately and trying not to have his daughter think that behavior is okay or doesn't lend itself to any time of visible consequences. What do we do when it's all 4 of us??

PS - They really ARE brain damaged!