teencrazy
04-28-2007, 11:31 PM
Doctor Bradley,
I have a second born son, JM, who had deep depression last spring of his junior year. He's doing very well now, but I still have some questions I'm hoping you can help me with.
His freshmen year he was a bear and very moody. He had a gf two yrs older than him and she had a car. I was not happy about that, it strained our relationship. Because of his extreme moodiness, my oldest son (16 then) was concerned and looked at his brother's instant message to a friend. It was a disturbing message about hating himself, not knowing why, and wanting to kill himself. Needless to say, he ended up in counseling for a few months and then seemed fine.
Fast forward....the next yr. came chronic headaches and chronic debilitating canker sores. He's had both on and off since 7th gr. but became worse. It took nearly a yr. before a neurologist was able to help him. Headaches gone. Still was dealing with mouth sores, however. I figured his down mood was mostly due to his pain, which makes sense. Since then....finally able to find meds for the sores, too.
I wanted to give you a little more background before I ask this question. Come junior yr. he started doing very poorly in school, teachers complained he was doodling in class, and he was getting increasingly moody at home and w/ his gf, he had rages, and cried easily. Decided to contact a counselor for him. He saw the counselor once before JM's gf broke up with him. When she went broke it off, he went "crazy.'' I took him to our family dr., who put him on meds. The meds made him worse and became suicidal. He ended up in the hospital, but after being put on the right meds, he slowly improved and now, a year later, still on the "new" meds and is doing very well.
After all this, if it weren't for the Instant Message back in his freshman yr, and even though he's the happiest I've ever seen him, I still wonder if he had clinical depression. The reason: He remained social with his friends (overly dependent) but still could laugh and have fun with them and he was still involved in school activities. All but one teacher (who actually lost a student to suicide) believed my son had it. In fact, she noticed the change in him and was concerned. His principal & guidance counselor, however, both thought my son was bipolar. I guess it was because he called attention to himself -- I never asked them why they made that conclusion. I knew he wasn't bipolar, but I didn't know how to explain the socializing part to them. Trying to get the teachers to help him through this difficult time was hard because of their attitude. Two weeks after his hospital stay, his calculus teacher e-mailed me telling me that if he doesn't go to her for help she won't help him. A month after that e-mail I found evidence that he was still struggling.
From what I've read and heard about teen depression, I know they can mask their symptoms more than adults can. Can they come out of their depression from time to time when they're going to something fun?
Why am I asking this? Because if those two important symptoms (showing lack of interest in favorite activities and friends) isn't showing ......is it possible he didn't have it? I would like to understand this. **Note: I do understand every depression is different but this particular "symptom" is always stressed in talks and literature.
It was very stressful for me last year, not only having to worry and help my son, but because of the lack of support I received from the school. This is what is driving me to try and improve things so that other students will be helped. And because of my experience, I would like see that the teachers get some kind of training or background to help other students who could be struggling. It has been like pulling teeth to get any kind of mental health awareness. I don't know why. I offered to help in so many ways, but the principal has other things on his mind.
I am actually going to meet with my son's family doctor who is on the school board about this issue. His own daughter suffered with depression when she was at the school and he said they experienced the same thing.
One more question: Would you ever consider writing a book directed to school teachers and staff about mental health and how they can recognize it and behave toward a student like that? Just a thought.
thank you!
I have a second born son, JM, who had deep depression last spring of his junior year. He's doing very well now, but I still have some questions I'm hoping you can help me with.
His freshmen year he was a bear and very moody. He had a gf two yrs older than him and she had a car. I was not happy about that, it strained our relationship. Because of his extreme moodiness, my oldest son (16 then) was concerned and looked at his brother's instant message to a friend. It was a disturbing message about hating himself, not knowing why, and wanting to kill himself. Needless to say, he ended up in counseling for a few months and then seemed fine.
Fast forward....the next yr. came chronic headaches and chronic debilitating canker sores. He's had both on and off since 7th gr. but became worse. It took nearly a yr. before a neurologist was able to help him. Headaches gone. Still was dealing with mouth sores, however. I figured his down mood was mostly due to his pain, which makes sense. Since then....finally able to find meds for the sores, too.
I wanted to give you a little more background before I ask this question. Come junior yr. he started doing very poorly in school, teachers complained he was doodling in class, and he was getting increasingly moody at home and w/ his gf, he had rages, and cried easily. Decided to contact a counselor for him. He saw the counselor once before JM's gf broke up with him. When she went broke it off, he went "crazy.'' I took him to our family dr., who put him on meds. The meds made him worse and became suicidal. He ended up in the hospital, but after being put on the right meds, he slowly improved and now, a year later, still on the "new" meds and is doing very well.
After all this, if it weren't for the Instant Message back in his freshman yr, and even though he's the happiest I've ever seen him, I still wonder if he had clinical depression. The reason: He remained social with his friends (overly dependent) but still could laugh and have fun with them and he was still involved in school activities. All but one teacher (who actually lost a student to suicide) believed my son had it. In fact, she noticed the change in him and was concerned. His principal & guidance counselor, however, both thought my son was bipolar. I guess it was because he called attention to himself -- I never asked them why they made that conclusion. I knew he wasn't bipolar, but I didn't know how to explain the socializing part to them. Trying to get the teachers to help him through this difficult time was hard because of their attitude. Two weeks after his hospital stay, his calculus teacher e-mailed me telling me that if he doesn't go to her for help she won't help him. A month after that e-mail I found evidence that he was still struggling.
From what I've read and heard about teen depression, I know they can mask their symptoms more than adults can. Can they come out of their depression from time to time when they're going to something fun?
Why am I asking this? Because if those two important symptoms (showing lack of interest in favorite activities and friends) isn't showing ......is it possible he didn't have it? I would like to understand this. **Note: I do understand every depression is different but this particular "symptom" is always stressed in talks and literature.
It was very stressful for me last year, not only having to worry and help my son, but because of the lack of support I received from the school. This is what is driving me to try and improve things so that other students will be helped. And because of my experience, I would like see that the teachers get some kind of training or background to help other students who could be struggling. It has been like pulling teeth to get any kind of mental health awareness. I don't know why. I offered to help in so many ways, but the principal has other things on his mind.
I am actually going to meet with my son's family doctor who is on the school board about this issue. His own daughter suffered with depression when she was at the school and he said they experienced the same thing.
One more question: Would you ever consider writing a book directed to school teachers and staff about mental health and how they can recognize it and behave toward a student like that? Just a thought.
thank you!