help I am at my wits ends for real
Please let me first say I love my son. when he arrived at my home after being in 14 foster homes and watching his disposition I decided he never needed to leave my home unless he wanted. The child that was on paper"passive aggressive", "post traumatic syndrome" "sexually abused" and " oppositional defiant ocassionally" was not my child. But one mont before we were to finalize his PLC. We made a visit to to see his sister's and her adopted home where he was sent away because of his lack of wanting to be part of a family. Which I do not believe as he does not know what a family is because he has never seen or been part of one. (no Excuses anymore) I was asked how he was doing my reply was "great except for his smart-a@@ mouth and the father replied "he used to look at me like he was looking through me and not payinattention to me and that used to annoy me" I had never seen this as my "little angel" always had/has a comment about everything. everyone was amazed at how the D and F student they had in their home became an A,Band C student yes without me fighting with him as the other have. Oh before I forget he is 17 in the ninth grade.
Since the PLC I have begun to dislike him a lot I can not stand to talk to him, look at him or be int eh same room with him. My goal was never to send him back which I almost did but could not imagine life without my odest son or being struck by lightining as he is a child not a pet. His grades have dropped to just passing. Our conversations are non existent and we are in constant arguments. On several occassion he has jumped i my face to fight me which I have walked away from, the last time was tough as it escalated and got way way out of control. Every conversation turns into an argument as his tone of voice is of disrespect and annoyance.
We are attending a therapy no that deals with his PTS and startign another one to deal with how to deal with the past. He is "normal" for the most part as he is very social and wants to be with his freinds most of the time. He does his chores without prompting and keeps his room fairly clean. he is very polite unless he is in one of his moods or angry. When he is in a mood he is either very withdrawn (which irks the hell out of me!) or very angry and challenging. Lately our relationship has taken a turn for the worse and I am getting to a point were I don't want to deal with him. Which is not a good thing at all.
I need help with coping with him. There is so much to his story that I can not get into at this time. Tonight we got into it again this time over his girlfriend coming to the house and me not allowing it unless her mother knows she is there. Which began an argument and that they are were going to do the homework at the library instead. Which lead to a lot of other things and then a final dig about about text message overages.
Tonight at this point I am wanting and might call them and ask them DHS to come and pick him up as I am SO tired of the fights and his attitude. I know you can't send your birth child back and I resolved myself the last time I felt like this I would not do this. But it is getting difficult to deal with him.
I began reading yes your teen is crazy tonight which is helpful but my case is different in the since he is adopted and has some other issues. HELp Please