I need help
I have a 17 yo daughter (she will be 18 in another month) who is first and foremost a wonderful person. She gets good grades, loves her family, and is always trying to help everyone with their problems. She met a boy on a church mission trip the summer she turned 16 and they have been dating for most of that time. He was a senior at the time and she was a sophomore. They did not go to the same school and he lives about 40 mins. from us. He had been having trouble at school and with friends. I'm not clear on all of this but he had been drinking, smoking, and sneaking out which is why his parents sent him on the mission trip. So this history really scared us, and we spent much of our energy on trying to limit the relationship and keeping their visits to only supervised time. He now is in college about 45 mins. from us and we found out that she snuck out to be with him twice at his school, when she was suppose to be at a friends overnight. During this time, she has had a job as a hostess at a local restaurant and started hanging out with other college kids. The one she is closes to happens to be gay. This girl has now become "obsessed" with my daughter. She calls her at all hours of the night. I overheard them on the phone at 3:30 am. My daughter swears that nothing is going on but the portion of the phone call that I heard, I felt that she was not being truthful. My daughter finally admitted to me that they have kissed, but that she isn't attracted to girls. She just feels particularly close to this person. She told her boyfriend all about this, and they are trying to work it out. I now find myself rooting for the boyfriend that I don't really care for. I would like to make her quit this job and get her away from this girl, but I know that this won't work. I am so confused! I love her so much, but she thinks that I am judgmental and prejudiced. She is only a senior in high school. She has always liked boys. We've always teased her about being a flirt. These two issues together have really thrown me for a loop! I suggested counseling but she is adamantly opposed. She says that she is so embarrassed about this girl situation and that it only happened once. I don't know she has been lying about so many things these last few months that I don't know when to believe her and when not to. Any help would be appreciated!