15 SD having sex!!
Here goes, my 15 SD asked to go on the birthcontrol pill for her face, acne, the medicine she was on was no longer working and after speaking to our healthcare provider we agreed that this was the way to go. 3 weeks after she started them, I come across a planned parenthood pamphlet that describes how to take some pills if you've had unprotected sex. Wow, I was shocked. I confronted her and she admitted to having had unprotected sex. First off, I told her that she was being responsible by protecting herself but not using a condemn is no protection against STD's. Granted I would rather not have her sexually active! I did go on and discuss with her that emotionally having this type of relationship at her age is difficult and when they break up it's going to be even more painful then if they'd not have had sex. She told me it's no different than having a birthday...she still feels the same, almost like it's no big deal???
She's glad I'm not judging her. I can't believe it, she's having sex w/a boy she's only gone out w/a couple of weeks. I'm very concerned that she is able to loose her virginity so easily. Am I wrong here? I haven't told my husband about this. He knows she's on the pill but I feel like he'll hit the ceiling if he finds out. She trusted me in coming clean. My SD has no releationship w/her own mother so I'm all she has as far as a female role model. It's hard raising teenage girls!....any teenager!
DON'T QUIT ON THIS ISSUE. The stakes are very high for your step daughter. The long term research on girls having casual sex shows some very long term and not very casual emotional damage. Most experts believe that innate healthy female sexual function requires emotional intimacy and feelings of exclusivity (committment).
Try talking to her about yourself and your own thoughts on "good" sex. Those same girls who roll their eyes at these talks tell me that they secretly want and need advice and guidance from adults they respect. But kids can't often ask for that kind of help.
Please let us know how your talks go.
Dr. Mike Bradley