When should teens start dating? I guess what I really want to know is how soon will my daughter want to go out with MR. JOE COOL?! And at what age is that appropriate?
12-14 years old
15-17 years old
18-21 years old
over 21
Never been on a date!
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Dating
Last edited by Sheldon Hooker; 11-21-2001 at 04:42 PM.
Sheldon Hooker
Manager of Web Development
Linux-Works Inc.
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I'm holding out for 16 with my daughter. I was surprised that Dr. Bradley's book said the consensus was 14!
There are stages, however. I have driven her to dinner with a boy, then picked her up and driven her to a dance with a boy and picked her up immediately after the dance, at 14. But she is not allowed to get in a car with a boy and go on a date with him till she is 16.
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I'm with Dr. Bradley's opinion on this one (from YYTIC) -- thirty-something is a good age for dating to begin.Originally posted by Sheldon Hooker
We won't be allowing our daughter out on unsupervised dates until she's 16, and even then we've got to meet the reprobate she'll be dating.
It's a very different world today then the one in which I started dating. I was 16, but I had already demonstrated a level of responsibility that convinced the parents of my then-girlfriend to let me start dating their 14 year old daughter. I always had her at home on time or earlier, never did more than hold hands or smooch, and often went to church with the whole family. Still, I'm surprised that they made that decision. Even if there's a boy out there like me who she would be interested in dating, I'd still want to say 16.
Or 32....
Pro libertate,
Ray
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I think that you are old enough to start dating when you are old enough to fall in love. For some it's 13 for others it's 18.
But I find 16 for a girl is like 19 for a boy. How can you stop your daughter from falling in love (or dating) before she's 16? Don't you remember Romeo & Juliette?
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Yes, I remember the play, and the answer to your question about stopping love or dating is like this -- you're not going to stop them from falling in love, and you don't REALLY want to stop from dating, although negotiated limits would be a good idea before they start.Originally posted by Sleeplessmom
I think that you are old enough to start dating when you are old enough to fall in love. For some it's 13 for others it's 18.
But I find 16 for a girl is like 19 for a boy. How can you stop your daughter from falling in love (or dating) before she's 16? Don't you remember Romeo & Juliette?
Pro libertate,
Ray
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That that depends on your definition of "dating". You might decide on different guidelines for different types of activities. A school dance might feel more comfortable than a day outing at a ski hill, which might feel more comfortable than dinner and a movie. All of these will REALLY feel different than "hangin' out" in someone's basement/garage/boathouse. I say, if it doesn't feel right, negotiate the setting so that you are comfortable with it, instead of an arbitrary age.
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I feel that dating today should be kept out of reach as far as possible! But like the other activities mentioned, like school functions and parents doing the driving and picking up is different. I'd like to say 18 for my daughter who's 15 now. Don't think that's too realistic but my hope. Some "dates" today are just about sex, not about having time talking, playing board games, or really getting to know each other. My son has been with his only serious girlfriend for over a year now and he'll be 18 in September. I wished he had waited for "dating" and sex but he was atleast past 16, so to me that was acceptable. I talked with both my kids since they were little about sex, love, and the biggest factor - trust. Hopefully some of it sank in.
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Old School Dating Rules - 16
This should be New School Dating Rules....
however...our culture has redefined EVERYTHING
So my rule for my now 16 year old daughter....
at 15 you can group date...16 date alone...
whether she respected this rule after she left our
house to "go to the mall" I am not totally sure...
at least she knew where I stood!
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Keeping in mind the changing scenario in the concept of dating it would always be advisable to keep this out of reach of the teenagers as far as possible, personally I am the witness of a teenager who absoultely doomed his career once the concept of dating became like an addction to him. However this is easier said than done as the teenagers today find many new ways to engage themselves in the dating as they have easy access to the world wide web, but things should change else there are tough times ahead.
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No matter what age limit is "set" by the parents, I've observed that most teens (or children) will date whenever the opportunity first arises, secretly if necessary. I started at 14. I was nowhere near the point where I was mature enough for a relationship, but that is how I learned. Its important to have a dialogue with children so that they do not keep any serious issues (pregnancy, contraception, abuse, etc) secret. In the mind of many child, they would refuse to talk about any of these problems if they were dating in secrecy, for the thought of getting "caught" outweighs the potentially life-altering consequences of these possible problems.
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