empty nest

[lmomg]

Perhaps this topic is out of the scope of this forum, but here goes.

My 20 year old will be moving out next month with a friend in his first apartment.
He has two part time jobs and is going to school part time. He's always been a late bloomer. The time is right to move out.

We've had our battles with him over the years with under-achieving and now they seem silly.
He could have been nearly done with college by now, had the smarts, but just did not have the desire.

I know that moving out is a good thing, that there is a certain level of maturity that will never be obtained for him while under our roof. (there is a 35 year old who still lives with his parents across the street from us, ample reminder of what we don't want).

It just seems bittersweet that when he finally is a delight to be around, he is heading out the door. That weeks may go by without us hearing from him.

Any advice for someone nearing empty nest? Also beware you parents who are complaining about your kids now, it is sad to pass an empty bedroom.

lmomg

[Sleeplessmom]

Hi,

I can really relate. My 22 year old son moved out this past August. It's almost like mourning. Contrary to your son, my son still has no job and he has now run out of money but he's not worried.

[lmomg]

Thanks for your reply. My son had two years to save up for this move, and he spent it all on video games, gaming systems and DVDs. He doesn't seem concerned in the slightest that he only has enough money to support himself a couple months. I think he and his friends just want someplace where they can play games in all their spare time, without parents nagging them to do something productive. We're not paying for any of it.
My son always had to learn things the hard way......
Appreciate the response.

[Sleeplessmom]

Your son sound just like my son except my son is into movies instead of games. He has run out of money now (he had $2000 of savings when he left home in August) and still has no job. We are not going to give him any money, he chose to leave his job and live on his own, he will have to see for himself that life is not free but he's welcome to come back home any time.

Good luck and keep me posted!

[mom2teens]

Sorry to hear that you are struggling through this notably difficult time in many parents lives-this is a significant stressor for many that's for sure.
Currently I am raising two teen boys, 14 and 16 and honestly, most days I would give anything for a break. I only hope that my boys successfully mature to this phase in life that they can undertake their own responsible journey into adulthood. When they are 16 especially, it is so hard to visualize, amongst all of the nonsense behaviors that this "time of departure" is so close yet oh so far away.
I suppose that it's time for you now, to concentrate on your journey and enjoy some new freedoms, knowing that you have done the best that you could for your child to prepare him for the world as an independent adult.......this is a natural course!!