Our daughter is 9 years old. We've been reading the book and are wondering if the behaviors she is exhibiting are normal "teen" behaviors or something more serious (bi polar disorder runs in our family). Isn't she too young to experience teen craziness (moody, low self esteem, talking back, anger, jealousy, attention getting behaviors)? At this point she only appears to display these behaviors at home. Her teachers love her and tell me how great everything is in school. They cannot believe I am talking about the same child they have in their class. No one else gets the privilege of her meltdowns - just her father and I.
We've tried therapy before and the therapist dismissed her because she refused to talk. I had to be present in the room for all sessions to allow her to be comfortable enough to talk with the therapist. The therapist said that therapy wasn't for everyone and it was "painful" to try to get her to talk. Although the therapy sessions were difficult to get through, she did learn some valuable techniques that she still uses to help her calm down and get her anger and feelings out in a safe way (i.e. without a "meltdown").
Try a different therapist. There are times when the first therapist you try is not a good fit for your child. You may find that another therapist has the skill, connection and/or patience to enable your child to feel comfortable in the setting.
Yes, indeed try another therapist and even if your daughter refuses to talk, get some coaching on how to respond to her behaviors. The fact that this stuff only appears at home suggests that she does have control over theses actions, but somehow feels a need to act bad with her parents. Don't let this continue and spread into her other worlds (school, friends, and so on).
Dr. Mike Bradley