Teen angry over accusation

[Entlover]

I really blew it.
Someone has been stealing money from my pocket, purse, or when I leave it for my husband. I normally don't leave any around, but had to leave $10 out for him the other day.
Tonight I accused my 16 year old son of taking the money that disappeared, and afterwards I remembered Dr Bradley encourages us to have faith in our kids. My son blew up, refused to go out to dinner with us (then got furious when we didn't bring food back for him), and called me all sorts of ugly names.
I understand his anger but cannot accept his behavior.
We are in family counselling but it is slow going. Any recommendations welcome.

[parent]

Stealing money, disrespect, and you're feeling like you're to blame for making this accusation? Sounds like a recipe for a drug problem, to me.

Consider looking up the signs of addiction on-line to see if there may be other red flags. How's school going for him? Does he bring his friends around or do you know them? Is he on the phone a lot? Does he seem more secretive? Is he hostile, careless or manipulative?

Consider searching his room (when he's not home, of course) for drug paraphernalia. Kids use hollowed out pens, foil, pop cans with holes punched in them or look for rolling papers.

Does he have dramatic mood swings or sometimes depressed or withdrawn? You mentioned you're receiving counseling. Why? Because of his behavior? Is he diagnosed with mental disorder?

If you discover he is using drugs - talk to him about it in a calm manner. Tell him that you love him but drugs will not be tolerated and that he needs help. Then call a DRUG counselor that specializes in adolescents for an assessment to see if or what level of treatment your son may need.

I hope I'm off base ---- but it can't hurt to check things out.......

Good luck

[Entlover]

Thank you, fellow parent, for the suggestions.
I don't think it's a drug problem. We're in counselling for behavior issues; he has ADD, ODD, he is secretive, hostile, careless and manipulative, but he has been since he was adopted at 2. Actually he's doing better than previously, since we now communicate, usually, with some respect.
Psychologists really seem to differ on whether to believe kids when they assert their innocence, or whether we shouldn't. Dr Bradley seems to say we should believe them, and their consciences will eventually prick them into telling the truth if they are lying. I'm not so sure that works. Our therapist says it depends on the kids.