Paxil

[parent]

Dear Dr. Bradley,

I found a pill on our basement floor, looked it up and discovered that it's Paxil. We do not have any prescription drugs in our home.

As you may recall, I have an 18 year old son that's been through the ringer with his addiction, was in recovery for about a year, and now is back to using. On the surface - things appear "normal" for him. There are no outward signs, and to our knowledge, we haven't seen him under the influence. And because of that, my husband doesn't see any reason to do anything about it.

Although we're seeing a counselor once a month, the counselor isn't strongly suggesting to my husband that we need to do "something", anyway. All he says is that we have to be on the same page in order to pull off any drastic measures we decide to take. I do know that. The counselor also told me that he doesn't believe I really want to do anything - like kick our son out, either. I don't "want" to do kick my son out after giving him some options but if I knew it was the best thing to do, I would. The counselor said he fears that if we send our son on his way, he might go back to the harder drugs.

Now getting back to the Paxil. I tried finding something on the Internet about it - what it means if it's abused. It isn't addicting, is it? I know that there are side effects, especially if it's abused, but I don't know anything else about it.

[Entlover]

As Dr Bradley is pretty busy, and can't answer all questions, I believe we need to support one another on this forum.
I looked up paxil on medlineplus.gov, a reliable website for medical issues.
Apparently paxil is a drug that is abused, to give hallucinations. I'm told you have to take a lot.
Overdose symptoms can include:drowsiness
coma
nausea
uncontrollable shaking of a part of the body
fast, pounding, irregular, or slow heartbeat
confusion
vomiting
dizziness
Have you considered having drug testing done for your son?

[parent]

Thank you for your reply and support.

I knew in my gut that something more than that little pill I found on the basement was going on. Last night our middle son, 21, confirmed it. He told us that he was told by some people (said he doesn't know them very well) that our son is hanging out with kids who do heroin. He believed his brother was engaging in it, but isn't sure he is right now because the supplier OD'ed on heroin himself. Having said that - in the back of my mind - I thought hmmm.... how did my middle son happen to talk to these kids?

Well, it didn't take long before he revealed something himself. Our 21 year old has had his struggles (depression, drug abuse) but the last 6 months he appeared to be doing extremely well - at home, Dean's list in school, sweet and mature girlfriend, has a few jobs, very mature and pleasant to be around..... so this really threw us for a loop. He told us he wants help but not now - wants to try it himself first. Said he didn't feel right telling us about his brother when he had a problem too. Sigh.

So - now to our 18 year old. Now what? My husband is the master of avoidance. He's been in major denial and hates to see the boat rocked. He always made me feel like the little chicken "the sky is falling!" so I hope he now sees that we need to do "something". A few months ago when our son stole over $600 from him that he was going to respond because he was so angry and hurt. The next week --- he was "lending" money to that same son. I am not going to let this go. I told him that we need to wait a week or so (older brother asked us because he had talked to the 18 year old about it and doesn't want him to make the connection that he talked to us) and then we need to come up with some kind of "PLAN".

This is where we're stuck. Drug testing is out of the question because we know our son - tried that numerous times. He's extremely stubborn. I wish I could involve the law. It was easy when he was a minor. Now, as an "adult" he would be treated differently. It makes me so upset. Our son needs help but if we involve the law (I have a pot pipe) it wouldn't be the same supportive experience.

[andersr4]

Hi Parent, I know it must be very frustrating that your husband is not on the same page with you. I'm responding because my best friend's son struggles with heroin. He started with pot in high school, pills in college, specifically oxycontin, and then on to heroin. She did not know he'd used the oxycontin for 2 years! She started to suspect something was wrong when things were missing such as guitars, amps, etc. Her son was nodding off during tv shows and at the movies. She found a cut off straw in his pocket, then with more searchng, foils. Her son had pawned all of his equipment worth $2500! He even pawned her acoustic guitar. Her son is 24, and later admitted to his mom that oxycontin pills are $60 a pill and he needed 3 or 4 a day. So then he turned to heroin because it's cheaper. He smoked it using a lighter, foil and straw. Later he began injecting it. Things got really bad when he ended up in the hospital because he missed his vein and ended up getting an infection in his arm....his arm was swollen for a week before he told his mom. He had cellulitus and was lucky he didn't lose his arm and his life, because the infection can get into the bloodstream. He was in the hospital for a week on the strongest antibiotics available. She found needles in his room while he was in the hospital. Once home, he started an IOP substance abuse program, since he was at the end of a 2 yr. architecture program and didn't want to leave for a rehab. This only lasted a few weeks, and he relapsed. The family had a written agreement that if he relapsed, he would go straight to rehab, and that's what he did. His whole architect program down the tubes, because he will have to start it over. He is extremely artistic and talented, but could not continue this downward spiral which could end in death or jail. He has completed rehab and is now in sober living and has a job. I'm sharing details here, so other parents can be aware of this drug which has made a huge comeback. AND OXYCONTIN is an OPIATE and is extremely addicting and dangerous, it is exactly the same as HEROIN. While high on the drug, my friend's son was able to go to school, work, and appear to be doing very well, so be aware, educate yourself on the different drugs available. Things started to fall apart when he needed more and more of the drug, and he could not afford his habit. This is a VERY SERIOUS DRUG and I would not mess around with it, REHAB is necessary in my opinion, because if the dealer's not around, another will oblige him. I don't know what it will take for your husband to get it....maybe he is more of a pleaser, and does not want to be the bad guy and say no. If your son can get help while he's young, the better his chances of beating this drug, which is why you have to do the tough love thing, otherwise they just stay in the disease longer. Take care, Mom

[Esprit]

Dear Parent,

This is very scary information. Some thoughts: personally I woudn't worry whatsoever at this point about whether your husband is on the same page or not. You now have knowledge(which I think you already knew in your heart) that this is a life and death situation. You have to act to save him. The "how" is the hard part. If it were me, I think I'd pick up the phone immediately and call any local in-pt. rehabs and explain the situation. Ask the professionals what to do and how to get him in their facility. They should be able to give you concrete advice. I'd also immediately call the therapist that was working with you to see if he has a contact or the ability to do something, to get him help in light of this new information.
I also wondered whether he could be involuntarily committed to a psych/substance abuse unit on a 302 as a harm to himself? I know a bit about that, but not sure about the legal ramifications if he is using heroin. It's a very fine line and would be something to ask the rehab., a counselor or a lawyer. You want him in treatment, not in jail!
The other option would be that if he seems the least bit in physical danger, or off in any way, that you could perhaps call 911 to get him hospitalized in a general hospital and then when they eval. him and he's stabilized, he could go directly from there to a rehab. He will need to detox in either place.
Another thought might be that if your older son feels that he wants help, how about beseeching, totally begging him to talk to his brother about both he and his brother getting help together and both entering a rehab. Would your 18 yr. old listen to an older brother who is struggling with the same problem? Your older son was concerned enough to bring this to you and you then might be able to persuade him to be an ally in getting help for your 18 yr. old. He may have strong feelings about not wanting him to go through what he has.
All in all, like Andersr4 said, he needs help and FAST. You can't observe or sit back anymore. He needs immediate treatment and to do that you need to use anything and everything at your disposal to make it happen. I'm very worried about him.
Please keep us posted.

[parent]

Thanks all for your thoughts and support.

I convinced my husband that we need to sit down (he agreed) to talk about how to do "this". I cannot do this myself - been there - done that ... and it wasn't pretty.

Anyway, when our 18 year old was a minor (still behaves like he's 14) - although it was very difficult dealing with him - we had all kinds of support and direction. In fact we learned so much about how to deal with an adolescent user, we now give presentations to middle school parents.

Unfortunately, we are venturing into new territory - we now have two legal "adults" with a problem it's much harder - especially since I told my husband I'd write up a "plan" for us to discuss before we intercede. "Plan" - whatever that is.

Also - I need to mention that I am taking what our middle said to heart and believe our youngest is fooling around with some harder drugs again BUT our youngest seems so "normal" - unlike he did a few years ago. I got on-line to see how to do an intervention and one site recommended that we should intercede after an event such as an arrest. We haven't had anything like that.

I guess I keep trying to and asking around. I really like our counselor but he doesn't have the credentials for drug counseling. He advertises that he does counseling for drug issues.